Chapter
14
Elizabeth remained in her
rooms until late in the morning. She had cried so much, her eyes were so red
and swollen that she could not allow anyone to see her in such a wretched state.
The letter she knew
by heart now. Every time she perused its lines her remorse was increased and
the anger and resentment she had once felt for her husband were turning now
against herself. She had condemned him unjustly and
treated him with a cruelty she had not imagined she possessed.
Above all, she felt
foolish, prejudiced. Wickham was lying through his teeth yet she never stopped
to considerate the impropriety of such communications to someone he barely knew
or reasoned about the indelicacy of putting himself forward as he had done. Even
after his indecorous proposition during the Twelfth Night party at Longbourn, she had persisted in advocating for him in his
fallacious tale.
However, while she
had acquitted Darcy in what Wickham was concerned, regarding his other fault --his
participation in the separation of Jane from Mr. Bingley--, Elizabeth was still wavering between
forgiveness and resentment. His intentions may have been honourable, but his
methods were wrong. If Jane was suffering, it was his fault and she was not
ready to forgive him for bringing so much sorrow to her most beloved sister.
However Elizabeth’s greatest
grudge against her husband was so deeply rooted inside her heart that she could
not find room for forgiveness yet. It had been the impropriety of his actions
what had placed them both in this situation and because of this; their marriage
had been founded in lies and disrespect.
Yet, though she
still held these circumstances against him, her initial perception of him had
been greatly changed by his letter. Albeit sometimes driven by the wrong preconception,
Darcy’s motivations were deprived from malice and he always had the best
intentions at heart. He was a good man with a generous, noble disposition whose
aptitudes as a husband and as a master were undeniable. In these three weeks of
marriage Darcy had shown more sense than her father had in a lifetime. If she
compared them both, Darcy’s understanding was superior and he was far
more caring, responsible and respectful of those under his care, even when
faced with an ill-tempered wife. Elizabeth
had never been blind to her father’s behaviour, though she had preferred
to forget what could not be overlooked. She had always found his methods highly
reprehensible, in particular the way he exposed his own wife to the contempt of
his children. Instead of restraining Mrs Bennet’s
foolishness and his youngest daughter’s wild giddiness, he preferred to
laugh at them. As for the rest of her family, they were a hopeless case. Catherine
with her irritability, Lydia
and her carelessness, they all were so ignorant, ill-behaved and vain. But how
could they improve when no one cared? How could those girls meliorate when they
were constantly indulged by a silly mother and ignored by a disregardful father?
No one in that household, with the exception of Jane, had common sense.
By noon, Elizabeth emerged from her
chambers and joined Georgiana in the morning room. Miss Darcy was struck by the
redness in Elizabeth’s
eyes but imagined that her tears were caused by her brother’s departure. Determined
to help her sister to ease her longing for her absent husband, Georgiana worked
hard to improve the new mistress’ mood.
Darcy’s
journey to Wales
was slower and more tedious than he had expected. The roads were in poor
conditions and a problem with one of the horses delayed him in ----ton for a
day longer than planned. The inconvenience was not at all unfortunate, as this
additional day at the inn surprised him with a letter from his wife and sister
that he would have otherwise missed.
Now in the warm
comfort of the inn, Darcy lay stretched in an armchair holding the letter in
his hands. According to Georgiana’s words, his wife and sister were
enjoying each other’s company very much. Perhaps he would have preferred
something more personal from Elizabeth’s
lines but as he did not expect her to write to him at all, he was satisfied
with at least receiving this brief note.
Dear Sir,
I am glad to know that you are in good health. The
weather has been uncongenial these past few days therefore your sister and I
have been preoccupied about your welfare.
Georgiana is a delightful companion and I am being
pleasantly distracted with her company. All she talks about is her wonderful
brother and the things she would wish us to do when you return home.
Please let us know that you are well.
Yours,
EBD
He folded the
letter as his thoughts drifted to the one he gave her on the day of his
departure. Surely she read it but, what would be her opinion of it? Nothing
about her last letter was giving him a clue. He hoped, no, he wanted her to
believe his words and forgive him for what he had done.
These days of
solitude and reflection made him realize that his behaviour towards her had
been unpardonable since the day they first met. Their encounter
in the woods, his disastrous comportment on their wedding night and his participation
in the separation of Miss Bennet and Bingley. He
had come to realize that what he had initially felt for Elizabeth had not been love, merely a
capricious desire to possess something he could not have regardless the
consequences.
But now he was a
changed man. He had learned from his mistakes. His infatuation had grown into
the purest and deepest affection and he was going to become a better man for
his wife. With his spirits somehow uplifted with the news of the day, for the
first time in weeks, he went to bed with a smile.
One morning, upon
her return home after calling on the Gardiners with Georgiana, Elizabeth found a letter from her husband
addressed to her. She excused herself and went to read the missive in private.
My dear Mrs. Darcy,
I am happy to inform you that the business that has separated
me from my family has concluded in a satisfactory way. I will probably be on my
way to London
by the time you read this letter.
The words I received from you gave me great pleasure. It
is very important for me to know that you and Georgiana understand each other so
well. She is too shy for her own good and I had always hoped that the
appropriate companionship would improve her reserved temperament. I am very pleased to know that she had found
that person in you.
If the weather allows me to travel faster, I will
arrive home by the end of the week. I am very anxious to see the two ladies
that are so dear to me.
Yours faithfully.
FD
Elizabeth traced her finger
over the written words. ‘The
two ladies that are so dear to me’. Was he being sincere or was this said only out of
politeness? With a shake of her head Elizabeth told herself that she should not
be making conjectures about implied words and be grateful that her husband had at
least showed her the courtesy of expressing himself thus. With a smile, she
folded the letter and put it away together with the one that had brought the
light into her darkness.
Though unbeknown to
her yet, the arrival of this letter marked the beginning of a transformation
that would change her heart forever and this incipient warmth she was now
feeling would soon develop into something more intense and deeper.
“Darcy!”
Charles Bingley was all astonishment when he joined his friend in the parlour. “What
on earth are you doing here?”
“It is good to see you too, Bingley” Darcy
showed an uncertain smile.
“Forgive me, Darcy. Where are my manners? Do you
want something to drink? Tea? Anything
stronger? I would like some brandy myself.”
Darcy eyed him suspiciously, Bingley seemed extremely
fidgety in his presence. “Brandy will be fine.”
“So, what are you doing so far from home?”
“I had some business in the country and decided
to make a detour to visit my good friend.”
“Oh.” Bingley poured the drinks, seeming a
bit sceptical at his friend’s explanation.
The gentlemen sat in opposite chairs and not a word
was said for a while. Bingley could not bring himself to look at Darcy’s
eyes and the other gentleman was not sure of how to bring up the subject he wanted
to discuss with his friend. Darcy cleared his voice and began,
“Bingley, I have something to tell you
…”
“I know you are married, Darcy.”
This was the first time that Darcy saw Bingley
addressing someone in such an unfriendly manner.
“If that is the reason why you are here, merely
to communicate me the news, then you could have spared yourself the trip. A simple
letter would have been sufficient. Though, as your friend, I would have
preferred to have been invited to the ceremony. Perhaps I was mistaken and we
are not such good friends after all.” The younger man said with obvious
pain in his voice.
That blow hurt Darcy more than he had expected. He cared
a lot for his friend and it pained him to be the cause of his suffering. “That
is not the reason why I am here.”
Bingley did not say a word. He just stared at him with
implacable resentment.
Darcy thought better to go directly to the point. If
he was going to lose Bingley’s friendship forever, then there was no
point in delaying the deliverance of the news that he knew for certain would
put him in a most unfavourable mood against him.
“The motive of my journey is an entirely
different one. It has nothing to do with my nuptials. It concerns, in fact, your
truncated marriage proposal to Miss Jane Bennet.”
Bingley just stared at him, waiting for him to elaborate further. “I made
a mistake, Charles, one that I regret enormously.”
“What kind of mistake?”
“I fear that my advice to you concerning her
affections had been completely defective. I made a poor judgement of her
emotions and wrongly believed that she was not a willing recipient of your
regard thus compelling you to make an erroneous decision. I believe that my interference
and ill advice had caused you and her great pain. It was a shameful cruelty
against you both and for that I apologize.”
“Is this some sort of perverse joke, Darcy? You
said that she was not the right woman for me, you convinced me that she did not
care about me.” Bingley retorted harshly.
“I was wrong, I am sorry for the pain I’ve
caused you.”
“Forgive me, my friend,” Bingley’s
anger did not ease after Darcy’s apology, “but this makes no sense
at all. You objected Miss Bennet’s connections,
her entire family, even her disposition, and here you are, married to her
sister. I cannot understand why what is wrong for me is right for you.”
“You do not know the facts that produced my
marriage to Elizabeth.”
“I am sure nobody forced you to do it.” Bingley
smirked mirthlessly.
Darcy looked down, but not quick enough to prevent his
friend from seeing the pain in his eyes.
“You were?” He said incredulous. “Good
Lord, Darcy! What happened?”
“Charles, it doesn’t matter any more. The
reason why I travelled to the end of the world searching for you is to tell you
that Jane Bennet loves you and her heart is broken
with longing for you.”
“Jane is suffering?” Bingley rose and
paced the room, his face red with anger. “Darcy, she must think I am a
rake that flirts with every girl he meets!”
“No, she does not. Remember that she is your
angel and is incapable of any malicious thought. And she loves you.”
“How are you so sure about that?” Bingley
was beginning to hope.
“I have the best source of information,” he
said with a sad smile.
“Yes, you do. So you are married now to Miss
Elizabeth, well, Mrs. Darcy now. I am sure Caroline must be chewing her liver at
this very moment,” he said after a smirk, though Bingley’s smile
quickly disappeared from his face. “But you do not seem exceedingly
comfortable with your present circumstance. Are you unhappy in your marriage?”
“No, I am not unhappy,” he answered
defensively.
“Oh, hang it, Darcy!” Bingley blurted
effusively, “You may think I am a heedless fool, but I am not. I saw you staring at her numerous times and
there were moments in which I thought you were quite smitten with her. You
know, I always thought you two well suited for each other, that she was the
right woman for you, that she would cheer you up. Yet I knew you would never
act upon this attraction. Of course you would not. You are above these primitive
emotions such as love and passion, aren’t you? You are so bloody obsessed
with propriety and protocol that you can’t permit yourself to feel
attracted to someone who doesn’t belong to your same snobbish circle. I
can imagine how torturous this must be for you, married to a woman you want to
love and admire but that you cannot because you believe her so beneath
yourself.”
Darcy looked away, overcome by shame, not because he
thought Bingley’s words were deliberately wounding, but because they had
faced him with faults of character he had been reluctant to accept.
“Me and my stupid pride,” he said finally,
without raising his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” Bingley replied with
remorse at his abruptness, “it was not my intention to hurt you.”
“But you are in the right, my friend. I have
thought myself above her and my shameful behaviour towards those around me I
have come to regret. My … the woman I love despises me and I deserve
every fraction of her contempt.”
Charles Bingley had always been the owner of a candid,
very generous disposition and as much as Darcy’s actions had wounded him,
he was not one to hold grudges against his dear ones. “I am sure it is
not as bad as you say. I also observed her most carefully while in
Hertfordshire and I can assure you that she was not displeased with you at all.
She was constantly teasing you, Darcy, even in front of your rudeness. Women tend
demonstrate their feelings in the most incongruent ways and I can assure you
Miss Elizabeth’s behaviour was at times utterly discrepant. One moment
she was ignoring you, then she was quarrelling with you, the next she was she
was purposely seeking your attention. For two people that had tried so hard to
avoid each other, you two had bumped heads far too often.”
Darcy looked up, though his smile did not quite reach
his eyes. “I hope you are right.”
But Bingley’s thoughts were already directed to
the subject that mattered most, at least for him. “Does Jane really love
me?”
“Yes, she does.” Darcy said sincerely. “I
apologize for my actions, Charles. I should have never interfered.”
“Then, I assume, I have your blessing.” Bingley
said smilingly, leaving all past resentments behind.
“Do you need my blessing?” Darcy chuckled
at his friend’s teasing.
“No, but I will like to have it all the
same.”
“Then go to it.”
Darcy sat in his
carriage recalling his meeting with Bingley two days ago. He was quite pleased
with the outcome of their conversation and hoped that his friend would gather
his courage and approach Miss Bennet as soon as
possible. Now on his way home, all what he wished was to have the opportunity
to prove to his wife that he was worthy of her.
It had rained
heavily all day long. In fact, it rained uninterruptedly since the day before
and there was no other activity for the ladies of the Darcy Townhouse than to
stay at home and read, play the piano and do whatever was in their minds to
keep themselves occupied. Elizabeth
was embroidering a handkerchief with Darcy’s monogram that she wanted to
give to her husband after his arrival while Georgiana practised a new song at
the pianoforte. The young girl faltered on the same note for the third time and
muttered in frustration at her inability to concentrate on the music.
“Georgiana,
patience is a virtue,” Elizabeth
voiced amiably. “If you put your heart in what you are doing you will
achieve your goal easily.”
“I know. I
just can’t keep my mind in the music. I am truly concerned about William.
According to his last letter he should have arrived yesterday evening. I fear
something must have occurred to him, the weather has been so unpleasant.”
A loud thunderclap followed her words, adding dramatics to her statement.
“Do not fear,
my dear. Your brother knows how to take care of himself. He was probably
delayed by the rain. I am sure he is safe sound and will be home as soon as may
be.” She tried to transmit to the girl a confidence she didn’t
feel.
“I hope you
are right.” She sighed. “But what if he’s trapped in this
storm and something terrible happens to him?”
“I am most
certain that he thought wiser to stop and wait until the weather improved. He
is probably at the inn, comfortably sitting in front of a big hearth, reading
his favourite book.”
“But I would
rather be in your much appreciated company,” came a deep voice from the
door.
“William!”
Georgiana ran to him. “We were so worried about you!”
Darcy chuckled at
her enthusiasm and took her hands in his. His eyes met his wife’s over
Georgiana’s shoulder. “I just wanted to be at home.”
Elizabeth moved to greet him
as Georgiana released her hold on him.
“Welcome
home, Mr. Darcy,” she smiled genuinely.
He took her hand
and kissed it. “I am glad to be here.”
“Brother,
look at yourself!” cried Georgiana. “You
are soaking wet!”
Elizabeth looked down at her
husband’s body and noticed the state of his clothes. They were wet, muddy
and crumpled, as if he had been exposed to the inclemency of the weather. His
face looked tired and the growth of his beard told her that he had not shaved
that day.
Darcy released Elizabeth’s hand. “Please
forgive my untidy appearance, but I had a most eventful trip. The carriage got
stuck in the mud outside of Town and we had to push it in order to continue our
journey. I did not have time to stop to make myself presentable.”
Elizabeth smiled at him as
she brushed some of the mud he had on his coat. A pointless task, she admitted,
because the rest of his clothes were quite covered by it. As she did this,
Darcy’s nose began to itch and he barely had time to turn away from her before
a forceful sneeze erupted from him in a most un-gentlemanlike manner.
“Lord!”
Elizabeth
startled. “You’ll catch your death in those clothes. Come, I must
see you out of them as soon as may be.”
The moment the
words had had left her mouth Elizabeth realised that her perfectly innocent and
well intended suggestion had been so poorly phrased that it could be readily
misinterpreted by her spouse, who was now looking at her with an expression similar
to amusement. A statement that would have been completely innocuous in an
ordinary marriage sounded almost improper when said by a wife who had never
been intimate with her own husband. There was no way she could rectify it
without exposing herself to further ridicule so instead of explaining what she
truly meant, Elizabeth turned to one of the footmen in the hall and instructed
him to summon Mrs. Turner immediately.
In an instant,
Darcy was surrounded by people. His wife, his sister, his housekeeper and a
couple of servants were fussing around him and urging him up the stairs, all
looking exceedingly concerned about his health and exchanging opinions about
what should be done to prevent him from falling ill. Mrs. Turner suggested a
hot bath, Elizabeth
said camphor should be applied to his chest and Georgiana reminded everybody of
how irritable her brother could become when he had a scratchy throat. Darcy, on
the other hand, was excessively diverted by their efforts and allowed them to
guide him to his rooms while his mind fantasized about the most agreeable
prospect of being, one day, undressed and tended in bed by his wife.
One day.
During dinner, much
recovered after a warm bath and a cup of hot tea, Darcy related to his family
some of the misfortunes he suffered during his trip to Wales. Elizabeth
followed his tale with interest, not failing to notice how much his countenance
had improved after his rest, though still feeling a little concerned for him
whenever he sniffed his nose. What she didn’t know was that the sly
gentleman sometimes did that on purpose, just to draw her attention to him and
stimulate her motherly instincts that were aroused whenever his attitude
betrayed the possibility of a malady befalling upon him, even if it was an
imaginary one.
However, it was not
just her husband’s sly playfulness what Elizabeth was failing to puzzle out. There
were much deeper feelings moving her to act the way she was than mere sympathy
or an innate wish to protect the ill. If she had stopped to analyze in depth
her own heart, she would have realized that she was genuinely excited for having
him home. Still, after spending so many weeks convincing herself of her dislike
for him, she was not ready to recognize this incipient happiness she was
allowing herself to feel for what it was and continued in her belief that she
was just getting used to her new life.
Amongst the topics
they discussed during dinner, Georgiana commented her visit to the Gardiners.
“Oh brother,
they are such delightful people, so refined and well-bred.”
Darcy glanced at
his wife, who had her eyes upon him and was scrutinizing his reaction to
Georgiana’s comments about her relations. “I believe you once told
me your aunt grew up in Lambton, Mrs. Darcy.”
Elizabeth heard no
disapproval in his tone. She was glad for it. “Yes, she did.”
“So close to Pemberley!” Georgiana commented enthusiastically. “Is
it not a lovely coincidence?”
“Indeed it
is. Pray, what is her maiden name? Perhaps I am acquainted with the
family.”
Elizabeth hesitated. Her
aunt’s family did not move in the same circles her husband did. “I
doubt it, sir, they left Lambton many years
ago.”
“They have
three children, you should see them, William,” interjected Georgiana. “They
are so charming.”
“Mrs. Darcy,
you must invite them to dine here with us.” Darcy once again he addressed
his wife. “I am most desirous to make their acquaintance.”
Elizabeth was happily
surprised by his suggestion. “I shall send word to my aunt, then. When
would you like them to come?”
He paused for a
moment, as if considering what he was to say. “I do not have any specific
preferences, though it would be better if they come within the sen’night. If you do not find it inconvenient, I
would like us to leave for Pemberley by the end of
the following week.”
Georgiana
immediately expressed her joy about the news, but Elizabeth did not look as pleased as her
sister. “I see no inconvenience, sir.”
Darcy felt in the
obligation to explain his motives to his wife and give her an exit in case she did
not want to dwell in Derbyshire with him. “The sowing time is about to
begin, my presence is required there. But if it is your desire to stay in London for a little
longer, I would see no inconvenience in …”
“No,
no,” Elizabeth
hurried to say. “I am most desirous to return to the countryside.”
“You will
love it, Elizabeth,”
Georgiana said excitedly. “We have this delightful tradition at Pemberley that occurs at the beginning of the season. The
family distributes baskets with food and grain among the tenants and we have
this wonderful picnic in the prairie. I used to accompany my mother in her
curricle when I was little, but since she died, this task was left to Mrs.
Reynolds. Now we will be able to it together!”
Elizabeth was caught by
Georgiana’s enthusiasm and began to feel increasingly excited herself. “I
truly look forward to do this with you.”
“The best
part is the race of ploughs,” continued Miss Darcy, “It’s
most entertaining.”
“I can
imagine.” The new Mrs. Darcy looked at her husband and asked in a teasing
voice, knowing that a gentleman of his rank would never belittle himself in the
practice of those humbling labours. “Do you complete in this race
sir?”
“No, madam, I
fear that my skills with the plough are quite short.” He replied with a
smile. “I’m more useful with the axe.”
“Indeed?”
That would be a more interesting prospect, Elizabeth thought, to see her husband
entranced in such a manly pursuit.
“He’s
most proficient!” Georgiana commented. “He can cut a log in just
two strikes.”
“Not so few,
dearest,” Darcy amended.
“That is
something I would like to see, sir.” Elizabeth said archly.
“Then I cannot
but oblige, madam.” Darcy bowed his head in acceptance of the challenge.
“I am so happy
that you will finally come to Pemberley,
Elizabeth,” Georgiana added. “I am most certain that you will love
the house and grounds.”
“I am sure I
will. I have heard so much of about it that I cannot wait to finally see your
home.”
It was Darcy the
one who replied. “It will be your home too, Mrs. Darcy.”
Following her
husband’s request, with no little trepidation, Elizabeth invited her aunt and uncle to dine
at the Darcy Townhouse. While she was sure they would never embarrass her and
was convinced that their manners would meet with Darcy’s approval, she
was afraid her haughty husband would think them unworthy of coming to his house
because of their dwelling and her uncle’s occupation. But she was
satisfactorily surprised when they entered in fluid conversation with her
husband. Whether it had been purely Darcy’s effort to accept them or
sincere amiability from his part, Elizabeth
could not deny his merit and was grateful for the kindness and cordiality he
was showing towards her relatives. On the other hand, her relations showed
themselves as intelligent and sensible, and every sentence and expression
marked their taste and good manners. For Elizabeth,
it was consoling to know that she had some relations of which she should not be
ashamed.
The conversation at
the dining table was lively and rounded mostly on fishing and the Darcys forthcoming departure to Pemberley.
It was then when Darcy surprised his wife with another stroke of civility for which
she had been completely unprepared. Before her astonished eyes, her husband
extended an invitation to the Gardiners to come to visit them at Pemberley on the following month.
“Elizabeth,
your husband is a very charming man.” Mrs. Gardiner placed her hand on
her niece’s forearm. The gentlemen were slightly apart and Georgiana was
playing the piano forte, so they were now able to talk freely.
Elizabeth was not so sure of
how to reply so she just smiled.
“He is all
ease and friendliness, no false dignity at all. I cannot believe that this is
the same proud Mr. Darcy you told us about.”
“I fear my
early opinion of him was based on first impressions.”
“So he
improves on acquaintance?”
“I cannot say
he improves, for in essentials he is the man he ever was. Though
by knowing him better, his disposition is better understood.”
“Did you
discuss with him that sad story about Mr. Wickham? From what I have seen of
him,” continued Mrs. Gardiner, “I really cannot imagine him capable
of such cruelty.”
“I am afraid
that we have been deceived on that matter. It did not happen in the way Mr.
Wickham told us.”
“It is good
to hear it, my dear. I am relieved that you conversed with him and eased your
worries right at the beginning of your marriage. Carrying those concerns inside
of you might have ruined the trust and respect a woman should feel for her
husband.”
Elizabeth’s
embarrassment about how the truth emerged was still too fresh to comment on
this subject.
“And are you
getting along well, my dear? I know your nature. After such an unconventional
wedding I did not know what to expect. When I did not hear a word from you
during the past weeks I grew very concerned for your happiness.”
Even though Elizabeth knew no one
could hear her, this was not the most appropriate place to make an honest
disclosure about her marriage to her aunt. “We are just beginning to know
each other. I have no complaints, though. This is a very comfortable house and
Mr. Darcy is most attentive to me.”
That was not the
answer Mrs. Gardiner was expecting, though she understood that it was the only
one she was going to receive. “I am happy to hear it. He seems a very
sensible man.”
“Indeed he
is. And I cannot deny that his manners have softened since our marriage. He is
less reserved than he was before.”
“I am sure we
must give you all the credit for this!” laughed Mrs. Gardiner.
Elizabeth blushed. “I
do not know what you mean.”
Mrs.
Gardiner’s response was interrupted by her husband, who addressed her
from the other end of the room.
“My
dear,” Mr. Gardiner told his wife, “Mr. Darcy is insisting that we
take our children with us to Pemberley. I am sure
that he does not know what he is getting himself into with that
invitation.”
“That is very
generous of you Mr. Darcy. But we would not wish to impose on your hospitality
by visiting with three children.” Mrs. Gardiner replied.
“Mrs. Darcy
and I shall be delighted to receive all your family, would we not?” Darcy
asked his wife.
“Of
course, sir. Nothing would please me more.”
“Then, it is done,” Mr. Gardiner said with a smile. “We
shall meet you at Pemberley.”