So, everyone wants to know why I'm never at AHA anymore. I'm not there because my membership was suspended at my request. Why would I make a request like that at the site I'd poured my energies into for the last year? Well, the admin team and I had a long set of differences about the direction of AHA, leading to my removal from the MLS Board of Directors and from my tech functions at AHA, as well as AI leaving AHA and MLS. It was unpleasant and bitter, but I was willing to put it behind me and be a regular member at AHA.

Then the AHA team took away my ability to send and receive PMs and made it so that I couldn't post anything on the board unless it was pre-approved by a moderator. They were angry at me because of the previous conflict, yes, but I didn't feel those actions were appropriate. It was also rather silly, since I just went to another site and sent my PMs there. I gave them a few days to cool down, hoping they'd realize their actions weren't warranted (not to mention that it was a bad precedent to set), and communicated to them via another team member that I wanted my privileges restored. It didn't happen, and I got no explanation for why it didn't happen or whether it ever would happen, or even why my privileges had been suspended in the first place. None of the due process that we'd set up for when there were troubles with a member was used. I still haven't gotten an explanation for those actions.

Follow up:

I kept the conflict quiet because I wanted to spare the community the ugly fighting involved, but I don't take well to being gagged. I care about the community at AHA and I miss visiting the site and my contact with the members there, but I couldn't remain there without the same rights everybody else had. Perhaps some day I'll be able to go back and see my friends there, but not till I can be a full member of the community, knowing that my membership privileges won't be taken away without cause or explanation.

I wish it hadn't turned out this way. I still don't know why it did turn out this way. When I get angry about it, I read a quote I have stuck on my computer from an open letter to Obama from Alice Walker. It says, "Most damage that others do to us is out of fear, humiliation and pain. Those feelings occur in all of us, not just in those of us who profess a certain religious or racial devotion. We must learn actually not to have enemies, but only confused adversaries who are ourselves in disguise." I take comfort in that and try to remember not to let myself fall into the trap of believing in enemies myself. Especially not in a community of lovers of Jane Austen.