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Why I'm not writing
by abigail 
This post actually isn't about writing, but about JAFF politics and its chilling effect on my muse. So if you're not interested in JAFF politics, skip this post and go to a more interesting one. It's not a fun post, either.
Follow up:
As many people know, Austen Interlude left the Meryton Assembly after a conflict with the current admins and mods of Meryton Literary Society. I accepted it quietly when they voted me off the Board of Directors of the site I’d founded, and I took the original Austen Interlude back to my own server (later removing the printable PDFs, which Carol refused to allow me to keep at AI). I made this proposal to the MLS Board:
Given recent events and the difficulty of getting responses to our questions, Elaine and I have decided to move Austen Interlude to a different server. At the time AHA joined AI, AI had a budget surplus from our last fundraiser totalling over $850, enough to cover AI’s operating expenses for years. This is separate from all the money out of my own pocket that has maintained the site all year. Setting up AHA and the meryton.com server took all of Austen Interlude's cash reserves. AI hasn’t received any funds from the MLS fundraiser, although donors thought they were supporting it, or from the amazon.com link. For the sake of the community, I'm willing to do what I can to spare MLS from excess financial distress, but I need to be reimbursed for these funds so that AI doesn’t have to do an immediate fundraiser.
Here is my proposal: AI would waive its rights to a percentage of money from the recent fundraiser and would reduce the money owed by MLS to AI (separate from the money MLS still owes me) from $850 to $500 in exchange for the following courtesies:
1. I’ve given out business cards with the email address abigail@meryton.com. I’m already destroyed the remaining cards, and I won’t use that address to send email any longer, but I would like to have my mailbox not deleted and the email forwarder left intact, so I can receive emails from people I’ve given the address to. I will then give them a different address to reach me at. Meryton.com has thousands of emails available, so this takes no resources, only requiring that my mailbox and forwarder not be deleted.
2. Many people have meryton.com bookmarked or use links to meryton.com to find AI. Also, AI has been used to drive traffic to meryton.com in the past. Because correct links are slow to filter through the net, I’d like the AI link on the front page to remain where it is for 2 years.
3. For the same reasons, I’d like to have the aihome.html page and the AI author pages left on the server unchanged for 2 years. Those pages are set to automatically redirect to austeninterlude.org. As meryton.com uses less than 2% of its space, this will have no negative impact on the site.
4. The only repayment I have for the huge number of hours I’ve put into meryton.com over the last year is the ability to advertise my books there. Therefore, I would like the right to maintain images of and links to my books in their current size and location on the index page, for a period of 2 years. I will be happy to provide the html code if any changes are necessary. Again, this costs MLS no effort, except that you not delete them.
None of this costs MLS any money or effort, and just involve leaving things as they are. This is a far better financial return for advertising than you could possibly get from anyone else. Given that AI doesn’t need the money immediately, I’m willing to accept it in payments over 3 years to reduce financial strain on MLS. This does not apply to the money owed me personally, only to the AI funds.
If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask. I am happy to expound in more detail on any of these items if it would be helpful to you.
This is the response I received by FedEx, signature required:
According to the Bylaws - which you reviewed and signed during the incorporation process and filing of articles - the Meryton Literary Society (MLS) bylaws Article 9, Section 2, paragraph b defines Financial Conflict of Interest. Auricle 9, section 3a and 3d further explain that any financial conflict of interest must be disclosed. No conflict or claim was disclosed. This lack of disclosure caused the corporation to file a 1023 with the IRS declaring that pre-existing assets were not being purchased. This form 1023 was sent to you before filing and was not disputed.
Furthermore, debts incurred prior to the July 2008 incorporate date are not the legal liability of the corporation. Therefore, the Board of MLS feels it is inappropriate for you to now demand the retroactive payment for the assets that were transferred to MLS upon the change of ownership and now belong to the corporation.
In the November 5, 2008 Board of Directors meeting, the proposal titled “AI Proposal” was rejected by a unanimous vote. (See enclosed - MLS Public Minutes - Item #8). However, in the interest of community and good will, MLS agreed to counter Proposal #1 accepted by a unanimous vote and will donate the sum of $848.11 to you for the purpose of operating Austen Interlude with the stipulation that this donation in no way acknowledges any pre-existing debt owed to Abigail [Reynolds], or Austen Interlude.
Now, therefore, MLS agrees to pay to Abigail Young the sum of $848.11. In cashing this check, Abigail Young agrees to accept this sum from MLS in full satisfaction, discharge, and release of any and all claims, real or otherwise, and in release of any further claims thereto.
This hereby dissolves all ties between Meryton Literary Society, Inc., and Austen Interlude or Abigail [Reynolds], and releases us from any further claims, obligation, or appearance of obligation. In consequence of this dissolution, we request Abigail [Reynolds], to remove AHA backup board from the austeninterlude.org domain.
Sincerely,
The Officers and Directors of Meryton Literary Society, Inc.
Given that they felt it was “inappropriate” for me to ask for the money, I felt uncomfortable taking it, and returned the check to them. Elaine and I funded the new AI out of our own pockets, which is how it remains.
As followup, they removed my meryton.com email address, without putting on an autoresponder to let people know how to reach me, immediately removed the AI link and my books from the splash page, and changed the aihome.html page – the four things I’d requested that they keep in my proposal. There was no negotiation or discussion about this. Without waiting to hear from me, they apparently assumed I’d accepted their deal and posted it on AHA. I made a post stating that the assumption wasn’t correct, and they removed that post without any word to me, before or after, and also took away my PM privileges (both sending and receiving) and my ability to post except as pre-approved by a moderator. Again, they said nothing to me about it, and never made any explanation or discussed it at all. When they didn’t restore my privileges as a regular member after several days, I asked for my membership to be suspended, because I don’t like being gagged.
I accepted all of that quietly, too, because I didn’t want to disrupt the community, which I love. But then came another issue, and I sent them this:
Hi all,
I was glad to hear about your new Reading Room, since it takes the pressure off AI, which is already maxed out on new writers coming in with HG down. I assume this also means you now have time and the know-how for coding work, so I'd like you to remove the AI graphics from the background of your pages. You have my permission to continue to use the Meryton Assembly graphic I made, since it's of no use to me. You may also continue to use the AHA skin I made, and the AHA graphic image which I made originally and Ellenjp improved upon. Even though the image is from my AI author page and the skin is in AI colors, I'm not asking you to change them because I know it would be disruptive to the community. So all I'm asking for is removing the background tiles, though I think it would be nice if you also designed your own page code that isn't based on the AI code or the AI look. Wouldn't it be nice to have a Meryton look?
To remove the background tiles, all you need to do is to remove the line "background-image: url(wp_damask_032_AIblue.jpg);" from the code of each page it's on. If you want to replace it with a background image of your own, you can upload your image and replace the wp_damask_032_AIblue.jpg part with the name of your image file. If you want a pattern of your own, there are lots of free backgrounds available online at sites such as http://www.allfreebackgrounds.com/background_select.html. I'd love to see this get resolved in a manner JA would approve of, without having to resort to legal threats, but if you have questions, feel free to ask, or I'm sure you can look up the appropriate information on intellectual property as applied to web site design. I think two weeks is plenty of time to remove one line of code from the pages it's on, especially since I've been waiting for you to do it for a couple of months already. I know you were very busy learning the ropes at first, but it seems like you're past that now.
[….]
Best,
Abigail
This is the response I received today:
We are touched by your concern that Meryton have its own look, but it
really isn't necessary. Making improvements to the look of the site has
always been on our "To Do" list, but for now we have other priorities.In the meantime, we have checked with our legal counsel on the copyright
and intellectual property issues of the damask background. We were advised
that to copyright something, it must be an "original work of authorship."
[See "Campbell v. Acuff-Rose Music" (92-1292), 510 U.S. 569 (1994) and
"Feist Publications, Inc. v. Rural Telephone Service Co.", 499 U.S. 340
(1991)] Therefore, no party can claim ownership of the pattern except The
Inspiration Gallery, the free graphics website from which it was originally
downloaded. The slight modification of color done by Zuki would not hold up
under a claim of Intellectual Property in a court of law. We see no
ownership issues that need to be addressed by us.If you dispute The Inspiration Gallery's ownership of the pattern, we
suggest you have your lawyer contact them as that pattern is still on their
website to be colored and used by anyone in whatever manner they wish. We
are currently crediting Inspiration Gallery for the ownership of the
pattern as is stated on their website as a condition of use; however, we
would be happy to remove the pattern from our website if you provide us
with a copy of an agreement between you and Inspiration Gallery stating
that you do own the pattern or a ruling by a court stating the same.Best,
The Board and Officers of Meryton Literary Society, Inc.
(Incidentally, there are different legal opinions on this, about the ‘look’ of a website; you can find them on www.chillingeffects.com).
This is just a taste of what's been going on. I don't understand why this has to be done in such an unpleasant manner. I just don't have the patience for this kind of nonsense and pettiness anymore. I hope my readers will understand why my muse doesn’t want anything to do with JAFF anymore. I'd really rather be thinking about Elizabeth and Darcy, but it's too muddied by all this unnecessary unpleasantness.
Meantime, I'm going to make changes to AI's appearance because I don't want any confusion about any relationship between the sites. I still think they should be the ones to change since I developed the look, but since they won't, I will. More stuff to do when I'd rather be writing.
I'm hoping that bringing these communications out into the open will lead to greater civility than has been the case so far. It may be Pollyanna of me, but I really don't see why JAFF can't be about fun, escape, and stories.
01/09/09 08:34:33 pm, 
22 comments
Margaret (marliz)
AHA officialdom has a way of sucking the life out of muses these days.
In truth, I thought incorporation might really benefit the community. But I was wrong. Anyway, I'm glad to be here, and you know I'll fire up my dreamweaver whenever we need it.
Hey, I like the blog thing..best get cracking on mine, eh?
e.
I hurt my blog, have to see if i can fix it.
(((((Abigail)))))
Stay strong in the knowledge that you have behaved with politeness, openness and generosity. Blessings to you. Kate
I want to be clear that my problem is with the admin team at AHA, not with the AHA community or the posting board. The community is the heart and soul of any board, not the admins and mods. I support the AHA community, even though I can't participate there myself. I'm willing to live and let live with the admins there, too, if I'm treated with basic politeness, respect, and allowed the same privileges every other member is.
Margaret: Thanks for the good wishes and your understanding. I feel bad because innocent readers like you end up losing stories because of these problems, and you deserve better.
Kent: Maybe your JAFF muse and mine could go on a nice trip to the Bahamas together and remind each other what writing JAFF is really about. As for the incorporation, I supported it at the time, but in hindsight, I can see that a huge mistake was made in how it was done, and that's what has led to this. Every mod and admin at AHA is also on the Board of Directors. That's six of the nine seats on the Board. When someone ends up in a conflict with the mods, they're supposed to be able to appeal to the Board. That doesn't work if the mods and the Board are one and the same. I was just too naive to see that problem when it was set up, and I didn't realize that the incorporation could be used to concentrate power into the hands of a small, self-perpetuating group. I thought the incorporation would mean that the community would have a say in how the site was run, which was my goal. I was wrong.
Elaine: I'm looking forward to your blog!
Wendy: You're right; everybody loses. But thanks for the recognition that I poured a lot into that site.
Kate: Like I said above, I made my share of mistakes in this mess, but you're right, this is completely unnecessary. We should be finding a way to work together, not play at one-up manship.
My point here isn't to stir up further conflict, just to say that it's time to let the community draw to its own conclusions, since we obviously aren't able to settle it behind the scenes. Maybe once the toxic secrecy clears, we can all remember that we want the same thing - lots of good JAFF to read and a community to share with.
The level of nastiness and legalese involved is just plain bewildering. I don't know the background of this issue, but really, why would anyone do this to a writer on their site, that too, one of the founding members of the site? As for consulting a lawyer about changing the background - that really is the limit! No wonder you've been so down the last few months. As you've rightly pointed out, JAFF is all about writing and reading some fun stories about our favourite couple, not this!!!
My best wishes to you,
Paddy
Until now, I was not aware of the details of your sudden departure from AHA, but it wasn't difficult to connect the dots that were there to get a basic outline of what was going on behind the scenes. The plain and simple truth of the matter is that AHA would not enjoy its current status in the JAFF community were it not for your generosity and hard work in getting it off the ground. It is appalling that the admins and mods would treat you in this way. Regardless of the differences of opinion you may have had or things you wish you had said or done differently, nothing could ever justify treating you with such callous disrespect.
I'm truly sorry for your pain. I hope that you can take some comfort in the fact that you are a beloved author with a devoted fan base who will follow you to whatever 'cyberhome' you provide. We will always be patient when your muse is being fickle and will do our best to encourage it, because we know that when you find it, the results are wonderful. I can't help but wonder if petty jealousy on the part of others over your well-deserved reputation in the JAFF community as one of its most accomplished authors didn't factor into their treatment of you. No matter, JAFF sites come and go, but beautiful and well-written stories last forever and you, my dear, have written some of the best. I'm sure that I will be taking your books off of my shelf to reread them long after AHA disappears into the internet archive. Don't allow a few individuals (drunk on their power and self-importance) to hold your muse hostage. Type with one hand and flip them off with the other. ;)
I'm so sorry that this stuff is still going on. As I read through your post, your letters and AHA's responses, I'm viscerally reminded of my grandmother's advice about bad relationships: a sharp knife cuts cleanest and leaves a wound that heals most quickly. In my experience with relationships that go bed, both with people and with groups, it really is best to just get out, as cleanly and as thoroughly as possible. While I'm sure there is an AHA side to this story, I also know that articles of incorporation or no, that organization was build with considerable sweat and blood from you, since I've been reading there since the beginning. To hide behind legal language and refuse to acknowledge that debt speaks to an inherent lack of decency and honor on the part of the letter writers.
I wish you'd cashed the check, too, because it would have at least offered you some material reimbursement for your contributions. I think putting this stuff out for people to see is right, because daylight is always good.
That said, I'm glad you're out of there. Such toxicity can't be good for your muse or any other part of your psyche. Please be good to yourself and know that there are more people out here than you can imagine who appreciate you, believe in you and will support you in anyway they can. (which means if AI has a fund raiser, funds will come, with joy). You have contributed so much to the JAFF world, both creatively and in thoughtful discussion about its various aspects. I hope your muse can find a safe place to revel in the love and appreciation so many folks have for your gifts.
blessings,
Kathleen
One of several reasons I didn't cash the check was because I'd been involved in the fundraising for Meryton, and the understanding was that all $$ raised were to be used for maintenance of Meryton. Using some as a "donation" to another site without member approval didn't seem right to me. I'm weird that way. But it's better and cleaner this way anyway.
DLSchickel, right now I don't have any plans to post Bounds of Decorum publicly. It's unfair to my readers who haven't done a thing wrong and have been an inspiration to me for years, and believe me, I feel bad about that, but it will be a good while before I feel safe enough to post my writing publicly. It's not a matter of finding courage; it's that when I feel unsafe posting, my muse dries up completely unless I stop posting. That's why I removed BoD from AHA, and I likely would have removed it from any other site where I was posting it if there had been such a thing, because feeling unsafe isn't limited to one site, even if it's caused by one site.
My two short stories are still at AI, and I'll probably post the short story I wrote for the Meryton fundraiser in this blog eventually. The rest are only available in published versions owing to contract restrictions. One of the shorts is also at DWG and HG. I know you have some eyesight issues, and please let me know if you need a version of something that can be enlarged. I'm getting close to that point myself!
Thanks again for the support and understanding, and I hope everyone who reads this blog continues to patronize *all* JAFF sites. There's good stories and good community everywhere. I'm hoping to see HG back one of these days, and you'll see me there sometimes, as well as at 50 Miles and DWG (no slight intended to any other sites; that's just the maximum I can manage to follow at once), and of course I'll be relying on the awesome JAFF Index. Long live JAFF!
Hugs,
Abigail
Don't give the AHA admins the satisfaction of any more contact. You don't need their money, or the graphics, or their good opinion.
To entice your muse back, write a piece of fluff about jealous Miss Bingley getting her comeuppance. Then let us all laugh with you.
I have to say AHA is not the same without you. I was very sad when you left AHA and removed BoD but now I understand a little bit more why. I think you are an amazing writer and I really appreciate the stories you have shared with us. I was going through a divorce 2 years ago and your stories gave me an escape and gave me something to look forward to each time there was a new post or when I discovered a story you had written but I had not read.
I am really surprised by your treatment given you founded AHA but I am very proud of your ability to take the high road. Given all that you have done I would expect you to be treated with all the respect you deserve and not the cold responses you have received.
I hope the admins at AHA realize what a treasure they lost and maybe that is why they are reacting they way they are because they did lose a vital piece of what made AHA so great. Your readers love you and I hope you do find the inspiration to write since your stories touch so many people. I will wait patiently since your stories are so worth it.
Please know that there are still fans of yours out here who wish you well. I hope you will be successful in all your endeavors. Thank you, Abigail & Elaine, for providing this comfortable, pleasing place!
I had no idea about all of that! It sounds absolutely horrible!
I hope you'll be able to forget about it as soon as possible. We all should be in JAFF for fun!
Best wishes to you and Austen Interlude!
You were my introduction to JAFF and I treasure your books and stories. I had no idea what had been going on, and I appreciate your shedding some light on this terrible situation. No matter where you go, online or in the bookstores, I'll be grateful to read your work and will be looking for you.
All the best --
I'm so sorry for all you went through. I used to think that JA fans are not so nasty to each other, and I'm sorry to be proven wrong. You are a wonderful writer, I love your stories and I'll read them wherever you post hem. I really hope you will not continue to feel unsafe. There are so many people who love and respect you and your writing. I hope you will find inspiration to write more, especially to finish and re-post BoD, a wonderful and beloved story. I also wish to see more of your promised continuations of Pemberley by the Sea.
Hugs,
Agnes
You were also one of the first places that I found fan fic after Longbourne Loungers. I am so sorry for what happened. I also applaud your writing - I have it saved in pdf and purchased versions - you know - one form is never enough.
Sadly, it seems that when the writing of an author is very good, very well liked, and very popular - problems seem to erupt along the way. I so miss BoD. I did not get to read all of it - so I was bummed - that is the only piece that I do not have. Poo! But, I will hope that it will appear at a later date.
I just so enjoy reading fan fic. I had noticed that there seemed to be a slow down in the amount of fan fic that is out there in the JA arena. That makes me so very sad. But, know that there are many that love what you write, enjoy your site and look forward to enjoying your future writing when the muse kicks in. I hope that you will shortly feel safe and secure in your own little home again. You have a great collection of writers that have created wonderful work. Thank you for being a trail blazer, for sharing from your heart, and for attempting a new way to share in this wonderful world of JA fans.
Blessings to you and hope for your muse to pick up her pen,
mmin (M2)
I had no idea what you had gone through! This was awful!
I'm so sorry for what you had to endure... I knew you had trouble with the AHA administrators when you contacted me becuase of my story but I had absolutely no idea of what you were going through! I'm even considering to rethink on my decision of keeping my stories there.
I really hope you'll be able to forget about this mess as soon as possible. We need your muse to be back to work!
Best wishes to you and Austen Interlude!
Paula
To be brutally honest, the reason I made this post was because it was the only way I could think of to get them to stop sending me nastygrams (or dead silence, which is what I get if I don't bring up legal issues) every time I try to communicate with them about unresolved issues. I hoped that if they knew that I'd post their communication openly, they'd make an effort to be superficially pleasant in the future. I had a nasty disagreement with them. It's over now because I have no connection to AHA anymore, and I don't see why we can't treat each other in a civilized manner now. Hopefully that will be the case in the future so that we can all just forget about this. But I really don't want to see the members of AHA suffer for the disagreement I had with the admins there. I want to see every single JAFF site prosper.
Thanks to all who have offered support and advice.
Abigail