The Lost Month

Online communities are wonderful things, sometimes. They can provide support and friendship and connections between people all over the world. But they are not always friendly places. And in particular, it is very difficult to lead, administer or moderate large communities. I think it is a place were people can burn out, be horribly stressed and feel even more alone.

Follow up:

When A received a harassing email from an anonymous sender using a throw-away email (one where replies went into space) and posted it in the forum, with the email header. Bottom line, there was a difference of opinion about whether the emailer’s privacy had been breached, and if information about the membership had been used improperly to ascertain the emailer’s identity. Also, since it was an email, and not a message posted within this community, and because it referenced a post at another community (but also referred to activities on this board), there were disagreements about what, if anything should be done and by which community.

I can only speak from my own perspective. I saw nothing wrong in posting the nasty email for the community to see - the nasty emailer is likely to be harassing others and the email itself is a violation of VAWA (Violence against women and children act) - anonymous harassment is illegal. The recipient of the nasty message (who posted it on the board) received over 20 supportive messages, and several private messages and emails. The moderators received complaints from a few people, as far as I can tell.

There was a lot of anger on both sides, and truth be told, perhaps neither side communicated well to the other. On my part, I was furious that the other admins did not support A. And I suspect that people were furious at me for seemingly putting them at risk by searching out the identity of the mailer.

But coming down to it - what standards of privacy are to be upheld in online communities? How must members who also have administrative identities behave and how must they behave differently than other members? How do the admins and mods of a board support members and members who serve in an administrative capacity? I supported posting the harassing email and finding out if the IP belonged to a member of the community. Was that a breach of privacy? I don’t think so but others do. Given that it was an anonymous email, an incredibly nasty message, it felt like abuse to me. Apparently not to my (now former) colleagues. How can such fundamental differences be negotiated, mediated? I don’t know. Sometimes the idea of sunk cost must apply - you’ve sunk in enough time, things will never be resolved, time to go.

I admit that I used past understanding and experience with some people on this board to form my opinion. But other admins used their past experiences with other people to worry about their reactions. Was there an excessive use of baggage? If you have prior experience, when is that information and when is it bias.

These are the fundamental differences of opinion that ultimately tore the group apart, and resulted in a black hole of nastiness, recrimination and retribution. The two factions of the group split apart, although hard feelings remain, and will do so for a long, long time. And it’s still not over, not quite yet.

In retrospect, it is likely that there were undercurrents of distrust and dissatisfaction between the groups, they had merely been held in check, or nothing happened like this before to pit the groups against one another so directly. I also believe that there were fundamental problems with the structure of the governing organization of this group. This group was recently formed as a nonprofit organization where many of the moderators and admins served on the Board of Directors and the admins and officers did double duty. In a voluntary organization, I guess you start out that way. But it makes it very difficult when such problems arise.

While I regret the outcome of this situation, I don’t regret my actions in any way. And here I should mention that I became privy to some private conversations by accident. And yes, those governed my actions. But holy crap, this was not, after all, national security. And the people who cried foul were just jerking around the other admins - because they had other axes to grind.

At the very least, however, I would say that there is a strong need for conflict resolution in these sorts of groups. Objective mediation. And maybe ways to communicate via telephone. The voice is still an important tool here. Inadequate communication will get you every time.