Final Chapter
A month passed by peacefully, and calm happiness returned to Darcy’s home. The tragic events surrounding young Markham’s death were rarely mentioned in Town; some rumors were spread despite the family’s attempt at keeping the matter private. Also there was no little talk about Caroline Bingley’s great fortune in becoming a young and exceedingly wealthy widow.
Caroline and her child were still in Darcy’s house, at Elizabeth’s special invitation. Caroline’s condition continued to improve while little James became as healthy and strong as any infant of his age. With every passing day, it was more and more obvious that he inherited his mother’s features. Caroline spent all her time in her apartments, most of the time holding her son and speaking to him or singing to him in a low voice. As Elizabeth predicted, the bond between mother and son was rebuilt very soon.
Caroline did receive quite a number of visits – from her brother, from Georgiana, and even from Lady Cassandra. The acquaintance between Caroline and Cassandra grew to be very different from what it was before and, though they could not be called close friends, Cassandra’s frequent visits and constant inquiries after the child’s health became a daily habit.
Lord Markham had called every single day after his son’s burial, asking about Caroline’s and his grandson’s health, but Caroline never agreed to see him.
He also expressed his regrets – with painful honesty – as he declared he was the only one culpable for everything that occurred regarding his sons. Cassandra refused even to speak to him directly, but the Darcys, the Bingleys and the Colonel accepted his apologies with wisdom and generous understanding, considering everything he had to go through.
The Earl presented Bingley with a settlement he had made for Caroline and for her son; a house in Town in a most fashionable neighborhood and a generous allowance to afford them a comfortable life even without any other support. To everyone’s shock, Caroline refused it instantly and declared she and her son would live with the Bingleys.
Mrs. Hurst, just returned from her long visit to Bath, censured her younger sister, insisting that she had lost her mind in refusing Lord Markham’s offer. Mrs. Hurst reminded Caroline that she should be happy that her son would be the heir of Markham’s name and enormous fortune. After that, Caroline also refused to see her sister and held on to her refusal for more than a fortnight.
Lord Markham left a copy of the settlement with Bingley, declaring that he would not take his word back. Even more, he insisted that his grandson would be his heir, and he expressed his deepest hope and ardent wish that, sometime in the future, Lady Caroline Markham would be able to forgive him and allow him to see his grandson.
The end of October was a little cloudy but the weather was still fine. Elizabeth and Georgiana were enjoying a cup of tea and watching their companion. It was the first time that Caroline agreed to leave her room and join Elizabeth in the drawing room.
She was still unrecognizable, Elizabeth thought. Her hair style, expression, and the slight trembling of her hands had no likeness with the formerly proud and handsome Caroline Bingley. Close to her on the settee was her son, sleeping peacefully, as Caroline refused to go down without him. Georgiana moved near to admire the infant’s pretty face and attempted to take the child in her arms for a moment but, to her shock, Caroline turned instantly and pulled her hands away from her son. A moment later, red-faced and deeply embarrassed by her unwarranted reaction, Caroline begged for forgiveness and encouraged Georgiana to hold the child as much as she wanted, as the boy was always very pleased to be cradled.
It took some time before the tension vanished from the room; Elizabeth started to talk about the weather and then continued to chat amiably about the Bingleys and Caroline’s return to her brother’s home, which was expected soon as the Bennets had left town the day before. Mr. Darcy was out on some business and was expected to return before dinner, as were Lady Cassandra and her husband. Georgiana was still holding the child as Caroline stood up to fill Elizabeth’s cup of tea once more, asking if she was comfortable enough on the couch.
“I am fine, thank you, Caroline. In fact, I am very well indeed except that I can barely move,” Elizabeth replied with a smile.
A moment later her smile faded and she let go of the cup. A sharp pain made her bend over, and a cry escaped her lips, startling the other two ladies. They both became alarmed and ran to her. Pressing her hands tightly upon her belly, Elizabeth tried to rise from the couch, but she fell on her knees when another spasm came upon her. Caroline held her while Georgiana, pale and frightened, still carrying little James, called for the servants.
Two hours later Darcy returned home; he was hungry, tired and worried about Elizabeth as he had been out for the entire day. At least he was content that he had finished all his business and could stay home with Elizabeth for the next few weeks in anticipation of their child’s birth.
He had barely entered the house when he noticed that the butler was avoiding his eyes; in the main hall there were far more voices than he had expected to hear; he easily recognized the Colonel, Cassandra, Bingley and – to his shock – his sister-in-law, Jane. Before he had time to wonder at such a sudden gathering, Bingley approached him nervously. “Darcy, where on earth have you been? Your butler has been looking for you for at least an hour…”
Darcy frowned as the sudden understanding fell over him; his eyes, opened wide, noticed the doctor drying his hands and moving slowly toward him. His voice raspy and struggling to maintain his composure, Darcy whispered the dreadful question he always feared.
“Where is my wife? Where is Elizabeth?”
“Mrs. Darcy is well, sir; as well as she can be expected in her condition.”
“You will excuse me, I need to see her this moment,” Darcy said as he pushed Bingley away, running to the stairs.
“Sir, you should wait another moment; the midwife is with her, preparing Mrs. Darcy and your son to receive your visit,” the doctor said, obviously pleased with Darcy’s shocked expression.
For only a moment did Darcy remain stone still before disappearing down the hall, without even noticing his friends calling to him.
That night Mr. Darcy refused to leave his wife’s apartment, though everyone, including Elizabeth – assured him there was no reason for worry. Mary and the housekeeper, as stubborn as their master, retired but not further than Elizabeth’s dressing room, to be near their mistress. The midwife, though very content with Mr. Darcy’s generous pay for her efforts, could not hide her disapproval of such behavior: did no one ever sleep in their own rooms in that house? Finally she abandoned any attempt to fight the master and his disobedient staff, and found a place to sleep on a sofa nearby in case she should be needed during the night.
Darcy moved an armchair close to Elizabeth’s bed and knelt near her. She was more beautiful than ever – better to say, she was beautiful in a different way than ever before and he could not find the words to tell her everything that was in his heart. Her tender smile and her eyes sparkling with happiness proved to him that no words were needed – so he remained silent, smiling tearfully, wondering at the miracle brought to life by their love, while she finally fell asleep, her hand resting in her husband’s.
***
Two months later
The Darcys’ carriage drove along the white streets of a frozen London; inside the carriage it was also cold, and Elizabeth slid her frozen hands into her husband’s to warm them. To her surprise, his fingers did not entwine with hers as she was used to.
“Thank you for taking the time to come after me, William,” she said, a little disconcerted.
“There is no need to thank me. It is always a pleasure to accompany you, you know that. Besides, when I came home and was informed you had just left to visit your sister, I saw no reason to remain inside alone. My only option was to come after you.”
“Forgive me for not being there when you arrived – it was on very short notice and I was certain you would be out on business until later in the afternoon. Cassandra came by to take me as we wanted to plan together with Jane the last details about the Christmas dinner. As I had just nursed little Will, I took the opportunity of having a couple of free hours and joined her. Are you displeased? Has anything happened?” she inquired, puzzled by his obviously low spirits.
“Of course I am not displeased. Why should I be? No, nothing happened… It is just that … you should have stayed home and rested. I am afraid you are tiring yourself too much. Things have not been easy for you the last months – first all the duties you had to learn at Pemberley, then the blessed news of our child, Jane’s illness, and then Caroline…ten weeks ago the birth of our son – and your insistence on nursing him by yourself. Now things are finally settling, everyone is well and safe, our son is growing up wonderfully – you should use this time to rest more. Cassandra could have made plans with Jane first and shared them with you tomorrow.”
“Oh, do not worry for me, dear husband. I confess I am so tired sometimes that I fear I might fall asleep on my feet,” she laughed. “But I could not resist walking out of the house for a short time – especially as it snowed earlier, did you notice? You know I love snow.”
“Yes, I did notice it snowed…”
He was obviously upset, and Elizabeth could not understand the reason. Perhaps he received some distressing news and was unwilling to share it with her yet. She took his hand and continued, smiling.
“Jane was looking wonderful, do you not think so? And Caroline – I was so pleased to see her well recovered! Two beautiful, healthy baby boys in the Bingley’s house – Mr. Bingley has every reason to be thrilled. And he seemed very pleased to see you, too.”
“I was very pleased to see Jane again and indeed I am content everything turned out quite well in Caroline’s situation. As for Charles – trust me, I meet him every day so I doubt he had missed my presence very much since I saw him this morning. I dare say I see Charles more often than I see you.”
By that time his countenance turned grave as he ceased to conceal his poor disposition.
“I am not sure I understand you, William – we see each other every day, do we not?”
“We see each other every day indeed, but you are not looking at me any longer, Elizabeth. Not the way you used to look at me.”
“You are upset with me and I cannot determine the reason. What have I done to displease you?”
“Forgive me, Elizabeth, you have done nothing. I should not have mentioned anything… It is just that…things are changing, this is what displeases me; and I do not know what to do to avoid that.”
“What is changing?”
“You are changing!”
“And pray tell me, what is the change that bothers you so much? Have I neglected some of my duties or…”
“You have neglected nothing, my dear; in truth, you have succeeded wonderfully in everything you have done, Elizabeth; and your efforts are indeed praiseworthy. My tenants and their families cherish you, my aunt and uncle have come to love you, and the servants adore you. As for Georgiana, Cassandra or your own family, there is no need to mention them. Yes, every one around you seems to benefit from your generous efforts – everyone seems to have a fair share of your attention – everyone but me…”
“Everyone but you?” She startled and frowned, looking at him in disbelief.
“Or better said, I have become only one of your many duties – and this is not enough for me. You have time for everyone and everything, though until a few months ago you could not stay away a couple of hours without coming to see me, do you remember that? I did notice it snowed earlier…that is why I interrupted my meeting and hurried home to take you on a walk through the first snow in the Park. And you were out – to visit your sister.”
“William…”
“I know I am being selfish, deeply and horribly selfish, but this is how I am… I am afraid it will never change. I do understand your care for your sister – and for my sister, and for our friends, and for the others around us – but truly, it is enough for me to know they are all well – I have no wish to speak of other’s troubles any longer, and I have become tired of company after the last months we spent in Town. I miss being alone with you; I miss your smiles directed only at me; I miss your teasing; I miss your sparkling eyes staring at me in front of the fireplace; I miss feeling you abandon yourself in my arms when we are alone; I miss seeing you blush and shiver when I touch you…
“I know it is not your fault, but…is my presence not enough for you any longer? What can I do to become as important to you as I once was? I know we have our son now, we are not only the two of us…but…”
Elizabeth watched him as she struggled to understand his words; from only a few inches away, his distress was so obvious on his face that she could not resist the urge to lean toward him and kiss his cheek. He did not turn to her but kept staring at a point in front of him, and Elizabeth could not decide if she should be upset or amused by his stubbornness. She took off her glove and caressed his face.
“Dearest husband, how can you say that? How can you not know that my love is deeper and stronger than ever? I do love you and treasure you with all my heart, and no day passes without my thanking God for allowing me to be your wife. I miss being with you, too – I miss it so much! Today when I saw it was snowing, my first thought was of you – wondering if you were in front of a window to see it. But I did not dare consider you would interrupt your business for this… Now when I know how many responsibilities are burdening your shoulders, how many people are relying upon you – my small wishes and caprices seem so unimportant…
“Elizabeth, nothing is more important to me than your wishes, you should know that…”
She shook her head in disapproval.
“There are many other things more important than my wishes. Day by day I understand how fortunate I have been and that I must do everything in my power to somehow pay back my good fortune. I have a marriage full of love and affection, the most wonderful, handsome and prosperous husband. I have a beautiful, healthy child… Even the birth of our son was easier for me than for other women… I have everything, and so many others have so little! I cannot allow myself to act only according to my own desires and wishes – if so, I would do nothing but abandon myself to your arms.”
She paused a moment, watching him carefully, and then laughed softly. “Well, perhaps I would evade your arms from time to time, only to check upon our son and to nurse him; I hope this would not bother you too much.”
“Do not laugh at me, Elizabeth – I do understand that our son is more important to you than I am; this is how it should be.”
He sounded offended but Elizabeth replied gently, while her fingers were stroking his jaw line.
“I must laugh at you, dear husband or else I would have to become very angry with you. How can you even ask if your presence is not enough for me? How can you not feel my love for you? I would like nothing more than to be alone with you…day by day and night by night, as we were before. But that could not be these last few months with everything that happened. Indeed we have had little privacy since we left Pemberley – but understandably so. There were so many things to do, so many others needing me and so many others needing you. And there were all the engagements we had to keep – though I confess some of them were as tiresome for me as they were for you. I am not complaining; I know how important my status is as your wife and as the mother of your heir; as Lady Matlock rightfully said – I cannot and I would not neglect complying with my duties, especially considering we have to prepare for Georgiana’s coming out ball next year. And…”
He unexpectedly silenced her when his mouth captured her lips with a violent urgency. She released a small cry of surprise and had no time to breathe under his possessive, unleashed attack. His lips withdrew from hers only an inch, so he could whisper. “I could not care less about all these – so be so kind as to stop talking about social nonsense…”
“Well, I can hardly speak of anything right now,” she laughed and a moment later was silenced once more and almost crushed against the carriage wall.
It was very fortunate for Darcy’s good name that the horses stopped in front of their house only a couple of minutes later, before any permanent damage was done to their clothes and appearance.
When they entered the main door, Mrs. Darcy was still very flustered, and the maid who helped take her coat off wondered if the mistress was not – heaven forbid – a little feverish.
“It is time to nurse our son. I shall see you later,” Elizabeth said with a smile.
“Very well,” he replied and entered his room while he could hear her loving voice asking the maid about little William.
Darcy remained there, staring at the door closed behind her, unable to move – or to think properly. What had just happened? How did she manage to dissipate all his worries and put an end to his torment in only a few minutes? Had he only been a fool all these months? Most likely so!
He threw himself into a chair and poured a glass of wine; what if he upset her with his unreasonable reproaches? It is true, she did not seem upset at the moment – but she was so right in her response! She had done everything she could to honor him and his name – and what was her reward? His careless words of reproach for not giving him enough of her time? But does she have any time at all? She had every right to be angry with him – it would be a miracle if she forgave him anytime soon!
With every moment of recollection, his heart and his breathing raced more and more until he became full of rage against himself.
The servant announced dinner was ready, and Darcy harshly dismissed him.
After a lengthy period of agitated pacing along the room and muttering to himself, Darcy finally regained some of his composure. Only then did he notice the hour and the servant waiting in silence in the doorway to help him prepare for dinner – and he finally decided what to do.
***
Elizabeth was sinking into the bathtub – lost in her thoughts.
She felt tired and her heart ached. They had argued – their first argument since they married – and, though they had reached a truce quite soon, she could still taste the bitterness of the sensation. The more she recollected their discussion, the more she agreed that he was right; she did not gave him the proper consideration a husband like him deserved, she could easily see that. Certainly, they did spend quite a lot of time together but it was true they were rarely alone.
Even when they retired to their room, she was usually so tired that she fell asleep almost immediately. And, though they began to share intimacies again about two months after their son was born, their lovemaking was somehow different – she could not deny that. She had became more restrained and a little uncomfortable, and truly she felt she had lost the courage to do some things she used to do before; she had wondered, many times, if it was proper – now that she was a mother – to behave as she did when she was a newly wedded wife; and her puzzlement was even deeper as Darcy seemed more restrained too – less demanding and less insistent in his attentions toward her. Instead of trying to keep her roused, or awaking her when she fell asleep before he came to bed – as he did in the first months of their marriage – he now appeared more preoccupied in allowing her to rest. She feared that was a sign of his decreasing passion and desire for her – as happened to many men after they had an heir; but after his earlier outburst in the carriage, that seemed unlikely.
She laughed as she felt tears in her eyes, remembering his expression when he complained about her not giving him enough consequence, about her giving too much of her time and effort to others. That was a little strange, coming from someone who was always so generous with everyone around him.
“Please come and help me out of the bath,” Elizabeth called to the maid as she heard the door opening. She had to prepare for dinner as soon as possible and look for him – immediately.
She startled and a soft cry escaped her lips when instead of the maid she saw the shadow of her husband along the wall.
“Did I frighten you? Please forgive me,” he said gently while he came closer.
She instinctively crossed her arms over her chest. “You did not frighten me…well, yes you did a little, as I did not expect to see you,” she smiled.
“Yet, there was a time when you knew you would see me here every evening…”
“It is true… But that was more than four months ago.”
“Almost five months,” he replied.
Elizabeth smiled again and blushed, slightly embarrassed.
Darcy kneeled near the tub, so that his face was close to hers; his dark glance dived into her eyes in a silent search of her deepest thoughts. She shivered. He took her wet hand and wiped it with his fingers then placed a burning kiss in her palm. She shivered again.
“Are you cold? Should I bring you some hot water?” he asked.
“The water is fine,” she replied. In fact, she did not much feel the water.
“Did you shiver because I kissed your hand?” he whispered and she nodded, obviously uneasy.
“I am such a selfish, insensible idiot,” he confessed unexpectedly and she burst out in a nervous laugh, while her peals mixed with her tears.
“You are neither selfish nor insensible,” she managed to say minutes later, staring at her fingers entwined with his.
“But I am an idiot, am I not?” he insisted, tipping her chin to meet her eyes. He leaned to reach her face and his lips wiped her tears. “Please forgive me, Elizabeth?”
“There is nothing to forgive – it is I who should apologize; you were right in everything you said to me.”
“No, no – I was completely wrong! I was wrong and unfair, and it is a wonder you are still speaking to me.”
“Well, since you invaded my room and I am imprisoned in this bath tub, I can do little else but speak with you,” she teased him.
“That is true,” Darcy admitted. “You are my prisoner and will be so for the next four hours at least.”
“Hmm… I am afraid that will not be possible, sir. I shall have my rescue quite soon. Mary will be here any moment to help me prepare for dinner.”
“I have dismissed Mary for tonight,” he replied very seriously. “As for the dinner – it is prepared in my room.”
“Oh…”
He leaned closer so his lips brushed against hers. “Are you displeased?” he whispered.
She withdrew a few inches to look at him; her arms encircled his neck and warm water fell all over his robe. “Do you think I am displeased, husband?”
His lips tasted hers for a short moment. “I hope not.”
She daringly returned the kiss, biting his lower lip – as she had not done in months. “What should I do for you to become certain, sir? Perhaps invite you to join me in here?”
Darcy broke the kiss and stared at her; his thumb brushed against her wet, red lips. “I have waited very long for such an invitation, my dearest.”
“Then you have been a fool, sir. You should have known you needed no invitation to join me whenever you please, wherever you like.”
“This is very dangerous encouragement, Mrs. Darcy, as it gives me the right to take advantage of you. Are you aware of that?”
Her right eyebrow rose while a mischievous smile twisted the corners of her mouth. “Truly, sir? I was not aware of the danger. Thank you for enlightening me,” she replied in jest. Darcy laughed delightedly and kissed her hand.
“Let me help you out of the tub,” he said and brought her the towel and robe. She looked at him puzzled and slightly embarrassed by his indirect refusal of her daring invitation.
He covered her in the robe and unexpectedly took her in his arms; her arms gathered around his neck and she cast a quick glance to him, only to meet the smile of satisfaction in his eyes.
“You are disappointed I took you out of the water, are you not?”
She averted her glance for a moment while she felt her cheeks burning. “No, it is just that…you said you waited so long and I thought you would…”
They were already at the door to his room when he stopped to whisper very close to her ear. “You thought correctly, my love. However, I decided to postpone accepting your invitation because the tub is not comfortable enough for the way I planned to spend these next few hours.”
“Oh…” was all she could say while he entered his bedchamber, holding her tightly.
He put her down on the settee near the fireplace. On a small table was a silver tray with some dishes, but she could not pay attention to their contents. She felt her husband watching her closely; he sat near her and removed her robe – which had become wet by then –covered her in a dry one and then embraced her; she cuddled to his chest and her hands took his.
“There is much more food in the dressing room…for later,” he said and she could feel the amusement in his voice, mixed with all those signs of passion she knew so well.
“I am not so hungry,” she replied. “I am just content to stay here, with you, like this.” One of her hands released his and moved up his torso.
“Your robe is wet too, William. You should change before you get cold.”
He gently pulled her aside. “My dear wife, if you are content to just stay near me, I am afraid you will be disappointed very soon. As for my wet robe – it is indeed very uncomfortable.”
His voice had become deep and grave and each of his words made her quiver. His statements, his glances, his moves, even his breathing were insinuating, flirtatious, shameless, passionate – and demanding.
She swallowed with some difficulty, trying to control her shivers – but with no success. She had not changed at all – and neither had he.
He said she was his prisoner for the next few hours, but she knew very well that she was also a prisoner of her own love and passion – imprisoned for her entire life.
“Then you should remove that robe, sir,” she said, licking her suddenly dry lips while she struggled to hold his intense stare. She untied his robe and then pulled it from his shoulders; he wore nothing beneath it.
“I should go and get another one while we are eating.”
“Yes you should – when we eat.”
He moved closer to her and she leaned back against the settee. “Are you not hungry, Elizabeth? When we were in the carriage you said you were starving, I do not want to…”
She cupped his face and pressed her lips against his. “You do not want what, husband? Or better said – what is that you want? Are you hungry, sir?”
The scent of his naked skin intoxicated her; he was almost atop her now and she closed her eyes to feel his weight on her but she suddenly felt herself lifted in his arms and carried to his bed.
He placed her against the pillows and his strong palm caressed her face while his tongue tasted her earlobe.
“I am hungry indeed – I have been starving for you for a long time.”
“But why did you starve, my love?” She entered into his passionate game, moaning at his touches. “I have never rejected you, nor did I do anything to keep you away…”
“I was afraid – afraid it might be too soon after William’s birth, afraid I might hurt you, afraid I might bother and tire you with my insistence…”
“You should have asked me if you had any doubts; you should have told me what you wished…”
Breathing had become more and more difficult for her, and she was not certain if she was speaking coherently any longer. Each of his caresses proved how much her own skin had craved his touch.
“I shall tell you now – or perhaps I should better show you,” he repeated his own words from a year ago while he removed her robe and threw it on the floor. His lips brushed against hers one more time and then his mouth followed his hands, traveling down to her throat, to her shoulders, resting a few moments upon her heart, then lower, along her body, caressing, kissing, and tasting each spot of her silky skin.
“You have always been more eloquent with your gestures than with your words, husband,” she teased him, panting.
“And what is it that you want, Elizabeth?” He stopped his caresses and looked at her; under his intense stare, she had to open her eyes and, searching for air, gained her courage to speak the truth.
“What I want is to make all your doubts and worries vanish; to make you always certain of how much I love and desire you; to feel your love and passion upon and inside my body…”
With each of her words, he leaned closer to her until his face was touching hers; her arms stroked his back while her legs opened for him and encircled his waist. Holding his gaze for a little longer, she had to close her eyes when she felt him crushing her with his weight and his mouth covered her moans the moment he slid inside her.
The time went by in the rhythm of their joined moves and Elizabeth could not say for how long their restrained passion searched for its eventual fulfillment. All she could notice from time to time, while her body struggled to recover after the exhaustion of pleasure, was the fire which turned less and less powerful, as the logs within the fireplace burned one by one. ’It will be cold if the fire dies’, she thought, and then she returned her face to meet her husband’s lips once more. She did not need the fire to keep her warm, as long as she could feel her husband’s passion deep inside her body and his love deep inside her soul.
***
Elizabeth was sitting on the settee, wrapped in her robe while Darcy tried to remake the fire. A moment later, while he was preoccupied with his task, she silently exited the room, barefoot. When she returned – a few minutes later – the fire was burning and Darcy was filling her plate with food. He smiled at her.
“How is William?”
“He is asleep – he sleeps so peacefully, my little treasure,” she replied, her eyes glowing with tenderness.
“How many times a night do you check on him?”
She laughed. “Yes, I know I am being unreasonable; even Mrs. Taylor scolded me that I disturb the poor child, entering the nursery so many times. She even suggested that we hire two maids to watch him for nothing.”
“Would you be more content if we were to hire three maids? Another one to watch the first two, to be certain they are doing their job properly? And of course, Mrs. Taylor- being our housekeeper - would watch the third maid to be sure she is careful enough in supervising the others.”
“You are mocking me, sir, and enjoy laughing at me, but you are no better; I know how many times you check on William yourself.”
“It is not the same,” Darcy replied while he offered her a glass of wine. “I am the master of the house and I may do whatever I want – just ask Mrs. Bennet.”
“Oh, I have not the smallest doubt about that, sir,” Elizabeth said, playfully. “You are twisting the rules however it pleases you.”
“It is the advantage of my ten thousand a year, madam.”
She laughed and he sat near her, pulling the small table in front of them. Elizabeth started to eat but he remained still, watching her. She looked at him puzzled, her eyes still laughing from his last statement.
“Are you not hungry?”
“Not really. I feel quite satiated for the moment.”
She laughed again and her cheeks burned. “I was speaking about the food, sir.”
“Me too, madam. I feel content to have a glass of wine and watch you.”
She found nothing to say for a few minutes and only continued to eat with small bites; finally he decided to put some cold meat on his plate and join her. She cast a quick glance to him and suddenly started to laugh.
“You had a wonderful idea ordering dinner in your room; this way we did not waste any time in changing our garments and preparing for dinner.”
“Indeed, we have employed our time much better,” he concluded and she giggled, averting her eyes for a moment.
“I am being very serious, William. What I mean to say is that, if this is acceptable to you, we could have all of our dinners in one of our rooms, avoid being surrounded by the servants while we eat, and have some polite conversation.”
“That is more than acceptable to me, Elizabeth – it is a splendid idea. Perhaps we can bring our son to stay with us for a couple of hours, just before you feed him and put him to bed.”
“I would love that,” she smiled lovingly.
“Of course, that would be possible only when we are at home for dinner and with no company,” he added meaningfully.
“I trust we will succeed in rearranging our social engagements to our mutual satisfaction,” she replied, holding his gaze. “Besides, I have started to feel quite tired – even exhausted – lately so it is very likely that I will not accept many invitations for the remainder of our stay in Town. Even Lady Matlock suggested I should rest more – so I plan to follow her advice.”
“Are you unwell?” he interrupted her, starting with worry as she burst out laughing.
“Not all the time…but I am sure I will be – quite often – especially during the evenings when we have visitors.”
Her eyebrow rose in challenge and she leaned to whisper to him. “You seem surprised, husband. Perhaps you disapprove of my mischievous plan? I am ready to abandon it if it displeases you – I know only too well that disguise of every sort is your abhorrence.”
He stared at her and for a moment, the shadow of that painful day in their past clouding his visage. But only for a moment, as Elizabeth’s smiling eyes were watching him closely, lightening any dark memory.
Darcy smiled and cupped her face. “Well, ‘disguise’ is a very relative term…and so is my abhorrence.”
He paused a few moments, caressing her cheeks as their gazes locked. “The only thing beyond any doubt or relativity is how ardently I admire and love you, Elizabeth.”
***
Epilogue – Pemberley, six years later!
“This place always amazes me,” Cassandra exclaimed with joy. “It seems to become lovelier with each passing year.”
“I believe the same,” said Elizabeth while they walked together arm-in-arm. “Every time I come here, its beauty takes my breath away.”
The grove was situated on one of the hills surrounding Pemberley House. It was railed by trees, arranged almost in a circle, and flowers of all colors were spread around, warmed by the late August sun. Behind the trees, a stream with clear water completed the brilliant picture of light and color.
“This garden was made by papa, especially for mama and for me,” young William exclaimed with pride, his back straight, his expression serious. “It is only for our family and for Aunt Georgiana, but she married last month and she is on a tour with my new uncle now,” the boy continued to explain seriously, as if the Fitzwilliams were not aware of that news.
“We do not allow anyone but very special guests here,” he continued, oblivious to the fact that his guests had been visiting that place many times in the last few years.
“I see… And we are special guests?” Cassandra inquired with mocking seriousness.
“You are indeed.”
“Thank you, young sir,” Cassandra replied and then unexpectedly grabbed the boy in her arms and started kissing his face.
“Aunt Cassandra, put me down please! I am not a baby boy any longer!” said the child of almost six years, trying to escape her arms.
She finally put him down and, with what remained of his dignity, he moved slowly but determinedly to the place where his father and his Uncle David were talking. He could not stay around ladies any longer. His Aunt Cassandra always treated him like a child and one of these days he would became quite angry with her – quite angry indeed.
It was difficult to be angry with Cassandra, though, because she was his favorite aunt; besides his mother and Aunt Georgiana, young William loved his Aunt Cassandra the most – especially since she was his godmother too. But godmother or not, a lady should not take a grown up boy in her arms to kiss him in public!
This thought of growing up boys instantly made him think of his cousin James Markham, one of William's best friends.
James had some very big troubles, poor him, caused by his very own mother – Aunt Caroline. As James and his mother lived most of the time at the Bingleys’ estate, William had a chance to meet him as well as his Bingley cousins quite often. All the time – truly all the time! – whenever they ran out to play, James’s mother would call him and check on him – and she always insisted on kissing him on his cheek even if they were in public! Moreover, she rarely allowed James to climb trees or to ride or to swim in the stream, because she said he might hurt himself. That was not the right way of treating a growing boy either! Not even Aunt Jane did something like that with Charles! And his grandfather – Lord Markham – whenever he came to visit them, instead of taking James’s side, as Grandpa Bennet did for William – seemed to agree with Lady Markham all the time. James had confessed to William many times that his grandfather was very good to him and always brought him presents of all kinds, but did not want to buy him a horse, as he was afraid James might be injured in some accident. That was a strange notion, considering James would be an Earl some day, William thought. What kind of an earl would he be if he cannot ride really well? However, he had to admit that James's mother and his grandfather were not quite so bad at all – outside of the fact that they did not allow James to play as he liked.
Of course, he was not allowed to play anytime he wanted and anyway he liked either – but in his case it was different. His parents were always right; he had no doubt about that. He had the best father, the most beautiful and perfect mother and now he had a beautiful baby sister. He was very lucky to have such a family; Mrs. Reynolds told him that many times – and Mrs. Reynolds was always right too. Even more, he had to admit he also had very nice relatives, despite some of their faults. He liked all his aunts and uncles very much and he really liked his cousins too. He looked forward to the next Sunday, when they would come to visit at Pemberley and would stay for a fortnight. The Bingleys, Aunt Caroline and James, Grandma and Grandpa Bennet, the Gardiners – not to mention his godparents who would surely be there too. That would be a very crowded house indeed, as his father said – and William really liked to have many people around!
He sat near his father and his godfather, wondering why he was upset with his Aunt Cassandra, after all.
“You should not treat the poor boy in this improper manner, Cassandra,” laughed Elizabeth as they sat together on the blanket.
“I know, but I cannot help myself – I absolutely adore him and he is so sweet when he tries to behave like an adult,” Cassandra laughed. “He is aloof and haughty like Darcy, and I love teasing him.”
“He does look like William – he is already very handsome and has such dark, expressive eyes,” Elizabeth said while her loving glance rested upon her husband and her son. “However, I am not certain whether he has the same disposition as William or only tries to mirror him. He struggles so much to be exactly like his father! And, to be honest, you have to admit William is not that aloof or haughty, either…”
“No, he is not…any more,” Cassandra admitted. “You had a very good influence upon his improvement…”
“William needed no improvement at all, he has always been the best of men,” Elizabeth replied decidedly as though she admitted no contradiction. Cassandra laughed again.
“Well, I do hope Darcy does not hate kisses as much as Will does.”
Elizabeth blushed slightly then laughed too. “You must not worry about any of my gentlemen regarding that aspect,” she replied, looking toward the small group in front of them.
Among the three gentlemen – all appropriately dressed for a late summer day – a spot of color was making a lively, noisy contrast: pale green ribbons and lace and red brown curls dancing on the back of a girl no older than four. She took tight hold of young William’s arm.
“May I kiss you, too?” she insisted, and the boy stepped backward instantly.
“You most certainly may not!” he replied. “What a strange notion – to kiss me! That is the most unpleasant thing to do. Why would you want to kiss me?”
“Because you are my favorite cousin and I like you very much.”
Young William looked at her and remained silent for a moment, thinking of all his cousins: there were Charles and Ellen and Francis Bingley and James Markham and Peter and George Wickham… He liked them all but yes, he had to admit that he too liked this cousin of his the most, though she was very annoying and quite demanding sometimes, not to mention her strange, silly ideas.
“I like you too; you are my favorite cousin too, but you still cannot kiss me,” he replied. “Kisses are very unpleasant,” he concluded, as if teaching his younger cousin a lesson.
“No, they are not unpleasant,” the girl insisted. “Mama and papa kiss me all the time and so do Aunt Georgiana and Aunt Lizzy and even Uncle Darcy. And more,” she added, whispering a secret, “papa kissed mama many times; I saw it.”
Again the boy remained silent. He too had seen his father kissing his mother a few times but he would not possibly admit it to anyone; and he did enjoy it when his mother and father kissed him good night or even during the day – but he would not admit this to his cousin either.
“Well, this is different – the rules are different when mothers and fathers are involved,” he concluded, with a meaningful look to his father, who had told him so many times.
Darcy tried hard to conceal his smile while the Colonel called the girl to him and whispered something to her. The girl’s face lit instantly and she suddenly turned to her cousin and said triumphantly.
“When I grow up, you will beg me to allow you to kiss me and I shall refuse you. And I shall not even dance with you unless you stop being so aloof and haughty!”
“I am not aloof or haughty, I am a very proper gentleman – Aunt Georgiana and Mrs. Reynolds told me so many times,” the boy defended himself. He would also like to say that Mrs. Reynolds told him he was even more handsome than his father was at his age, but that was not something to discuss with his younger cousin. “And,” he continued, “I will certainly not beg you to kiss me or to dance with me – that cannot be true.” He turned to his father hopefully, searching for support. “Will I, father?”
Darcy could not hide his smile while he patted his son’s hair. “I cannot say for sure, son. But it might very well be true – so you should be very guarded with your words while you speak to young ladies around you.”
The boy remained still while looking from his father to his cousin so seriously that neither Darcy nor David could repress their chortles. A moment later, David took the girl in his arms and rolled around in the grass with her; the girl laughed with all her heart while young William stood silent at a distance. David grabbed the boy’s leg and pulled him to fall over them. The girl was thrilled and instantly climbed over her cousin, placing a quick kiss on his cheek. The boy wiped his face, torn between laughing along with the others and being upset for the mistreatment. Only when Darcy started to laugh too, did the boy decide to imitate his father.
Elizabeth and Cassandra exchanged delighted smiles; the small burden on Elizabeth’s lap yammered softly and she lifted the infant in her arms.
“You are awake, my love,” Elizabeth whispered and kissed the child’s cheeks. Cassandra caressed the child’s small hand and was rewarded with happy babbling.
In a moment, the girl left the men’s group and hurried to the ladies; she stopped in front of them, her cheeks red from laughter and exertion, her curls spread around her face, her green eyes shining.
“Oh, you are awake, my sweet, darling, precious little Anne,” she said while she knelt and kissed the infant’s face. “I am sooooo happy you are a girl like me and you are so beautiful and you allow me to kiss you,” she continued while the baby’s fingers entwined in the girl’s curls and a mixture of laughter and babbling melted the two women’s hearts.
A few minutes later, with a last kiss to her cousin and one to Cassandra and Elizabeth, the girl returned to young William.
“Cassie is adorable,” Elizabeth said to her friend. “She is so beautiful, so sweet, and so good-humored all the time…”
“So spoiled, so outspoken, so daring, so disobedient…” continued Cassandra looking after the little girl.
“So much like her mother,” Elizabeth said. “She does resemble you very much, Cassandra – both in spirit and in appearance. She is already a little beauty.”
“She is beautiful, is she not?” Cassandra asked as if she needed a confirmation. With a long glance toward the little group, Cassandra’s voice became weaker and slightly trembling. “Elizabeth, I confess I do not care much about her beauty but just for her health. I cannot believe God has been so good to me to complete my happiness by giving me this precious gift. I did not dare hope I would have a child of my own – and here she is… I am happier than I ever dreamed yet there are still times when the dream turns into a nightmare…about the past… After all these years, I am still not certain I deserve to be so happy… I know it is hard to understand me…” Cassandra said, fighting against her tears while she smiled to her daughter who was waving to them.
“My dearest friend – I do understand you, though I do not dare presume to know the depth of your grief. But I do have a philosophy which I have used many times and it has accomplished miracles more than once. Did I not share it with you?”
“No, you did not – and I would be more than grateful for a miracle,” Cassandra smiled tearfully.
“Then be prepared to be grateful, Lady Cassandra, for here it is: think only of the past as―”
“As its remembrance gives you pleasure," completed Darcy, who approached them, kissed Elizabeth’s hand and then took his daughter in his arms. “I learned it from Elizabeth a long time ago and I can testify to its wisdom,” he explained to his friend while his eyes gazed adoringly upon his wife and she responded, laughing at him with sparkling eyes.
“It sounds very wise indeed,” Cassandra admitted, a short laugh vanquishing the sadness on her face. “I shall try to follow your advice, Mrs. Darcy – as your advice has proved very useful to me, more than once.”
Elizabeth reached for Cassandra’s hand, and then she smiled at her friend.
“You should do that, Lady Cassandra... As for useful advice – we will not quarrel about the relative amount of wisdom in our conversations since we first met seven years ago, your ladyship. Let us just say that our shared advice is a part of the past that always gives us pleasure and can be remembered with joy, shall we?”
Cassandra squeezed Elizabeth’s hand and her face lit as she responded. “I would not dare contradict you, Mrs. Darcy!”
A cool summer breeze stirred the fronds while the sun went down and the Master of Pemberley invited his guests to accompany him back to the house. Young William and little Cassie were the first to obey and hurried along the path. Elizabeth took her husband’s arm and he placed another tender kiss upon her hand, while their daughter rested on his chest. Right behind them, Lady Cassandra and David shared a quick, gentle kiss of trust and understanding, following their friends.
Leaving behind their past and taking with them only its remembrance, the Darcys and the Fitzwilliams stepped together toward the future, which was laughing happily in front of them through the joyful voices of their children.
The End