Chapter 4

 

Lady Cassandra stared at Elizabeth with an insistent, ambiguous glance, without saying a word. Elizabeth bore the Lady’s scrutiny a few moments feeling rather uncomfortable. She was about to break the annoying silence when her ladyship finally spoke.

“Miss Bennet, I have been told that you are a very bright woman. You are also very sincere, as I have observed myself.”

“Thank you, your ladyship.” Elizabeth could not hide her surprise mixed with wonder at the unexpected compliments bestowed upon her.

“As it is very likely we will see each other quite often in the future, I think we should clarify a few things. May I speak openly?”

“Of course! I very much prefer openness and sincerity.” Elizabeth hoped her words did not sound as sharp to her ladyship as they did to her own ears.

“Indeed? Well, this is very good to know. I really hope you will continue to welcome my honesty after I am finished.”

Elizabeth released a nervous laugh while a sudden worry threatened her peace of mind. “I have to confess this sounds a little frightening.”

“I surely hope not. I dare say you are not the kind of lady to be easily frightened, not even being alone in a room with an angry gentleman seemed to deter you.”

Elizabeth frowned while her cheeks paled. “It appears that your ladyship has already heard many things about me.” The confirmation that Lady Cassandra was aware of all the details of that awful day at the parsonage made her tremble with mortification and rage toward Darcy for not keeping private such a delicate affair.

As though she had guessed the nature of her thoughts, Lady Cassandra continued. “Do not be too upset with Darcy. Under normal circumstances he would have never told me about that unfortunate event. However, he was not quite himself by the time I returned....and Georgiana was even more affected by his state, so you may understand that I could find no tranquility until I discovered the reason behind his distress.”

‘Under normal circumstances... He was not quite himself...’ The words echoed in her head so clearly that she could hardly hear and understand anything else. Had he been so deeply moved by her refusal that his mood had affected even his sister? Suddenly, the carriage became too small, and she felt she could not breathe.

“I must tell you, Miss Bennet, that I have known the Darcys for twenty years now; they are my only remaining family. No other people are closer to my heart.”

“I see.” She knew not what to say except a few barely audible words. “I am sorry to have caused anyone such distress, and especially to Miss Darcy. She surely does not deserve to suffer.”

“No, she does not, and neither does Darcy. Do you also regret making him suffer? Or perhaps you came to regret your refusal, now that you know exactly what you have refused?”

The question was so direct and it’s meaning so obvious that it left Elizabeth completely shocked, unable to reply or even to think for a while. “Lady Cassandra, I do not mean to sound rude, but I am not comfortable having this conversation with you, so I would rather put an end to it this instant. It is something too private and too painful for me to share with anyone.”

“Very well then, I shall not pursue the subject any further. I will only add that Georgiana is completely oblivious about everything that happened. She knew her brother was out of spirits a couple of months ago but she does not know anything more. Everything she has been told about you is favorable, mostly from Darcy and partially from the Colonel.”

Elizabeth had no answer — what else was there to say?

“Moreover,” continued Lady Cassandra, “Georgiana does not know that you are aware of what occurred at Ramsgate. As you know, it was a most private matter and so it should remain.”

“I understand; and I beg you to rest assured that Miss Darcy’s secret will be perfectly safe with me.”

“I have no doubt about that. If Darcy decided to tell you, he most likely was certain he could have complete trust in you... Ironic, is it not, for a man to trust so completely the woman who has just refused his marriage proposal and accused him of such horrible things?”

Elizabeth became livid again as the accusation cut to her very soul, and her ladyship’s rudeness became difficult to bear. She had no time to answer, however, before Lady Cassandra continued. “You must be a remarkable woman, Miss Bennet, to have earned such attention from a man like Darcy.”

“Lady Cassandra, although I am opposed to continuing this conversation with you, I will confess that I have regretted my lack of understanding and the unfair accusations I bestowed upon Mr. Darcy many times. I did blame myself for speaking with such vehemence about a subject that was not my personal concern and for allowing myself to be so easily deceived by Mr. Wickham in the first place. Though I know I had every reason to reject Mr. Darcy’s proposal at that time — and I did know perfectly well what and whom I was refusing — I cannot help but feel sorry for all the distress I caused...especially now, when I have come to know both Mr. Darcy and Miss Darcy much better.”

“So you are still certain you were right to refuse Darcy? Is that what you are telling me? Are you not asking yourself if perhaps you have made the biggest mistake of your life?”

Elizabeth felt rage taking control over her patience, and she doubted she would be able to keep her countenance for long. Slowly, she took a deep breath and threw a glance out the window to gauge their location, hoping it would not take long for them to reach her destination.

“May I dare to presume that you are not so pleased with your refusal now?”

Lady Cassandra’s voice was full of sharp irony and Elizabeth finally burst out, holding her gaze and trying to keep her tone level. “May I dare to presume that your ladyship is not displeased with my refusal?”

She noticed, with no little satisfaction, that her words had the desired effect: Lady Cassandra’s expression changed instantly and she frowned. Nevertheless, because Elizabeth was not intimately acquainted with the lady, she could not read any of the feelings displayed upon her beautiful face.

“You think I am pleased that you refused Darcy?” Her voice was calm but determined, demanding answers. When no answer came, she continued. “Then you are not wrong, Miss Bennet; I am quite happy. Because if not for your refusal, most likely I would not have returned anytime soon.”

“I see.” Elizabeth started to play with her reticule; she felt she could not bear this talk much longer. Surely, her distress was obvious. She hated the idea of looking weak and pitiful before this formidable creature.

“Miss Bennet, rest assured the secret of everything that occurred between you and Darcy will be perfectly safe with me. Also, believe me that I had no intention of being rude or upsetting you; I only wanted to clarify a few things and thought it would be best to do so in a direct and honest manner for the benefit of everyone involved. Georgiana seemed very friendly with you and I cannot allow her to suffer again.” Lady Cassandra’s voice lost all of its sharpness, and became gentle and soft as she spoke of Miss Darcy. “I can see that Georgiana is very fond of you, Miss Bennet. Undoubtedly, she has been influenced by her brother’s generous praise. She has developed a very strong, genuine friendship for you after only a few days. I have never seen her so animated with somebody outside of the immediate family — and Darcy does not look worried at all by this situation. In fact, he seemed to encourage the growing intimacy of your acquaintance. The power you have over the Darcys is quite amazing!”

Several emotions overwhelmed Elizabeth completely; each of Lady Cassandra’s words felt like knives piercing her thoughts. Her ladyship did nothing more than voice out loud the very thoughts that preoccupied her since the first moment she had met Georgiana.

“Does your ladyship believe that my presence is harmful to Miss Darcy? Would your ladyship prefer that I not spend so much time in her company? I am asking this because I do believe your major concerns are in Miss Darcy’s best interests.”

“I am not the one to make decisions in this matter. Darcy and the Colonel are Georgiana’s guardians and they seem to consider you very beneficial for her. I only hope you are the honest and sincere person we believe you to be, Miss Bennet, and that you will not overlook the sincerity of her friendship.”

“Lady Cassandra, I know you have no reason to have a favorable opinion of me... I also know you would rather not be in my company too often, if at all...”

“No indeed, Miss Bennet, quite the contrary. I do enjoy your company — and your uncle and aunt’s — exceedingly. Trust me; if I would rather not have you around, you would have been fully aware of that by now.” Her ladyship’s tone sounded lighter and considerably less tense, yet Elizabeth did not feel comfortable in the slightest and hardly knew what to say in response. Lady Cassandra’s continuous changing of topics and manner of addressing her were highly disconcerting.

“Thank you. Your ladyship is very kind. And speaking of kindness, please allow me to also thank you for inviting us to the ball. My aunt and uncle have been delighted by the opportunity…”

“And are you not delighted? You know, there will be a few very handsome eligible young gentlemen among the guests so I dare say you will amuse yourself as well.” This was yet another statement which threw Elizabeth into silence. Lady Cassandra was talking to her as though they were long time friends with nothing but perfect understanding between them. Her confusion grew as the lady continued to ramble about the ball until they reached the Gardiner’s house.

As a matter of courtesy, Elizabeth invited her companion in for a cup of tea, but she did not really anticipate the lady would accept such an invitation. She was surprised, however, when she agreed most readily to join her. She seemed quite pleased at the chance to see Mrs. Gardiner again. In turn, Mrs. Gardiner was completely shocked to receive the unexpected visit of such an illustrious guest.

In Mrs. Gardiner’s presence, Lady Cassandra’s manners softened and warmed. She became nothing but kindness and complimented Mrs. Gardiner on her home and even asked after Mr. Gardiner. She inquired about Mrs. Gardiner’s acquaintance with the late Lady Anne and even remembered some occasions when she was very young and she had accompanied her mother and Lady Anne to the Lambton School. In all, this tea became a perfect opportunity for them to share many fond memories. Everything in her ladyship’s attitude showed that she indeed enjoyed the conversation: she smiled all the time — an honest, open smile which brightened her countenance — her tone was friendly and her manner of addressing both Mrs. Gardiner and Elizabeth was light and friendly. Nothing in the lady’s behavior resembled any of the harsh talk she and Elizabeth had exchanged in the carriage nor did she indicate she viewed Elizabeth with any sense of rivalry. In fact, if Elizabeth could rid herself of her inherent doubt and mistrust of the lady, Lady Cassandra would appear to be one of the most pleasant persons of her acquaintance.

More than half an hour passed before the guest took her leave, expressing her hope to see them again very soon at the ball which would occur in three days’ time.

Thus, three days later — while the maid was helping her to prepare for the ball — Elizabeth could still not figure out the truth of Lady Cassandra’s character nor her intentions insofar as the Darcys were concerned.

~/~/~/~

Caroline Bingley had not been so displeased in a very long time. She had returned to Town three days ago and since then she had discovered many alarming details about that woman, Lady Cassandra. Her anger — and her panic — grew with each new report about Mr. or Miss Darcy being seen in the company of the illustrious lady. Moreover, though she had sent her card announcing her arrival to Grosvenor Street some days ago, she had received no invitation thus far, nor did either of the Darcys visit her.

Charles — absentminded and oblivious to the urgency of the situation — admitted he had met Mr. Darcy briefly but refused to offer any more details except that the departure for Pemberley had not changed.

The most alarming news for Caroline was the private ball Lady Cassandra would be hosting and to which they had not been invited. With great difficulty, Mrs. Hurst managed to calm her younger sister, insisting that most likely only the closest friends and relatives of her ladyship had been included on her guest list.

Yet, Caroline could feel that something horrible was about to happen, something which would ruin her future completely. It was something she could not foresee or prevent. Her first demand to her brother had been to inquire if the Darcys would be attending the ball and, if that were the case, to insist that Darcy persuade Lady Cassandra to extend the invitation to them. Charles only stared at her in silent contemplation as though he could not understand her request. After her repeated insistence, he finally shook his head, answering sharply but determinedly, “No! That is absolutely unacceptable.”

None of Miss Bingley’s friends or acquaintances had been invited to the ball, so she could not even hope for the small consolation of having a full and detailed report following it. Consequently, she had nothing left to do but to wait and hope something would occur to put an end to her distress. However, the day of the ball arrived and found Caroline shrouded in the deepest misery. She was certain it was the most horrible day of her life and the situation could not possible get any worse.

***

The drive from Gracechurch Street to Lady Cassandra’s home seemed to Elizabeth longer than a trip from London to Longbourn. Her varying emotions had made her unable to eat anything since breakfast. She had always loved balls — as she had always enjoyed dancing — however, this particular ball caused her to feel uncomfortable and highly distressed.

Until that moment, Elizabeth had always felt at ease among people and never allowed herself to be intimidated, no matter what illustrious company she might find herself in. Suddenly, the thought that she would be viewed as a last minute addition to this elegant ball — where the attendees were persons whose situations were decidedly above her own — was overwhelming. That Mr. Darcy would also be present only added to her bewilderment.

The gowns Mrs. Gardiner procured for both of them were exquisite. While examining her hair and dress in the mirror, she knew she had never looked better. However, she knew neither she nor her aunt could ever be compared to the other ladies in attendance. Nevertheless, with great effort did she finally admit to herself that the true cause of her distress was not what she thought about her appearance, but what Mr. Darcy’s opinion of her would be.

The Darcys, together with Colonel Fitzwilliam, had called on them the previous day. Miss Darcy had come to bid her farewell, as she would not be attending the ball and Elizabeth, together with the Gardiners, was to leave town the day after the event. The guests stayed more than an hour, and the visit was very pleasant; the Colonel had been the most delightful company and Miss Darcy — becoming less shy in Mrs. Gardiner’s presence — had been equally charming. Mr. Darcy, however, seemed preoccupied and intervened very little in the conversation. The recollection of that fact only increased Elizabeth’s uneasiness while the carriage was taking them to the ball.

Lady Cassandra’s house was everything Elizabeth had expected in terms of beauty and greatness. It spoke very eloquently about its mistress’ wealth and situation in life — as Mr. Darcy’s home revealed about him. Inside, however, the house was utterly different from his. It was certainly more impressive but less warm and inviting. Elizabeth could not help but busy herself with her examination of the home as she felt the inquisitive gaze of several guests look her over.

Elizabeth’s worries about their reception vanished as Lady Cassandra greeted them with obvious pleasure and warm politeness the first moment they entered. The friendly and joyful presence of Colonel Fitzwilliam was a blessing to Elizabeth, and she smiled openly at him while he hurried toward them and offered to accompany her into the ball room. Mr. Darcy, however, was nowhere to be seen; and, though Elizabeth’s glance quickly scanned the enormous room, she did not dare to inquire after him.

“Miss Bennet, I shall take this opportunity to ask for the first set, if you are not otherwise engaged.”

“I am not engaged, Colonel,” she answered, then she slightly leaned toward him, whispering: “In fact sir, I am quite grateful for your invitation. I do not know anybody else in the room; therefore, I am quite sure my dance card will remain empty until the end of the evening.”

He laughed, covering her gloved hand with his protectively. “Oh, I should not be too certain about that, Miss Bennet. I dare say that more than one gentleman threw admiring glances in our direction as we entered, and I doubt very much that the admiration was meant for me. I think I was very wise to secure myself a set at the beginning of this evening.” She could not help laughing again, feeling most of her uneasiness dissipating.

A moment later Mr. Gardiner asked after Mr. Darcy and the Colonel explained that he had already arrived but some urgent business regarding Lady Cassandra’s estate needed his attention. “He is in the library and I dare say he will appear soon. He asked after you a few times, and I promised I would send a servant to him to inform him when you arrived.”

Elizabeth’s cheeks colored highly and her heart skipped a beat: “He asked to be informed when we arrived?” His interest was hard to believe yet very flattering. She felt torn between excitement and distress at the idea of seeing him soon.

Colonel Fitzwilliam remained in their company and introduced them to some of the guests. To Elizabeth’s surprise, less than half an hour later she found herself engaged for another three sets. Colonel Fitzwilliam immediately began to tease her about her popularity, but Elizabeth was certain that her [I ]‘success’ was mostly due to the other guests’ curiosity about her and her relatives rather than an indication of her charm. In fact, in a ballroom filled with some of the most beautiful young ladies in the town, she truly did feel merely tolerable.

“Why is he so late?” Of course, once Mr. Darcy made his appearance, she could not expect the same friendly manners as he had shown to her during their private meetings. He would surely not expose himself and her to more gossip and speculation than had already arisen. But would he at least speak to her? Or perhaps ask for a dance?

While walking along the room, Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner met some old acquaintances and stopped to greet them while Elizabeth started a private conversation with the Colonel, relating to him the plans of the tour they would be starting the next day. From time to time, she cast quick glances around them and, a couple of times, met Lady Cassandra’s eyes, but the lady was too far away from her and she could not read her expression. Yet, she had the distinct feeling that her ladyship was not entirely at ease; she appeared preoccupied and less voluble than she was when they arrived. She had not much time to think of the subject though, as a gentleman stopped near them, bowing politely to her while also greeting the Colonel.

“Colonel Fitzwilliam! It is a pleasure to see you again. I hope I am not intruding...” While he spoke, his eyes never left Elizabeth’s face, and she blushed in embarrassment at his insistent stare.

“Lord Markham, what a surprise! I did not expect to see you here.” The Colonel’s voice was cold and stern, completely lacking in politeness, and Elizabeth could not conceal her surprise. However, the gentleman seemed not to take offence at all.

“Oh, apparently Lady Cassandra forgot to invite me as I was out of town, but my cousins asked me to escort them, and I could not refuse the request of two lovely ladies.”

“I see... Well then, do not allow us to detain you from your duties as an escort. I am sure your cousins are already missing you.” Elizabeth startled at this open rudeness and gazed in surprise at the Colonel. He was frowning and made no attempt to hide his displeasure.

The other gentleman, however, laughed shortly but did not leave, his eyes fixed intently upon Elizabeth. “Oh, I am sure they will do just fine without me for awhile. For now, would you do me the honor of introducing me to the loveliest lady in this room, Colonel?”

“I would surely do so, if you tell me of whom you are speaking,” answered the Colonel blankly, and Elizabeth did not know whether to chuckle or feel offended.

“Colonel, I am pleased to see your sense of humor is unaltered; however, I cannot believe you missed my meaning. I had the pleasure of seeing Miss Bennet last week at the theater; and, since then, I have wished for a formal introduction,” said Lord Markham while he bowed to her, leaving the Colonel with no other alternative than to perform the introduction.

Though highly intrigued by the exchange and trusting that the colonel would not treat another gentleman — the eldest son of the earl of Markham — so rudely without good reason, Elizabeth used all her benevolence to answer as politely as she could, but it was not an easy task. The Viscount’s manners, pleasant features and warm voice suddenly struck her as eerily similar to Mr. Wickham’s, and she instantly attempted to withdraw her attention away from him.

He did not leave their company for a few more minutes, showing no restraint in expressing his admiration for her. There had been many other times when Elizabeth was admired and courted; and, although no gentleman ever drew her attention in so obvious a manner, she had always enjoyed the innocent flirting and pleasant conversations which were common at a ball. This time, however, the intensity of Lord Markham’s stare and his compliments in the presence of the Colonel, made her slightly uncomfortable; she was relieved when suddenly the Viscount excused himself and left, not before repeating to Elizabeth how very pleased he was at the prospect of dancing with her later.

Immediately following his departure, Elizabeth’s eyes turned to the Colonel who was holding a preoccupied gaze; when he felt Elizabeth’s stare, his countenance changed back to his usually friendly self. “Miss Bennet, I must beg for your forgiveness. I acted most improperly in your presence. However, Lord Markham has often tested my patience in the past. “

“Yes, I imagined you were not the best of friends,” answered Elizabeth, forcing a smile. For a moment, she had been worried the Colonel’s strange reaction was due to the viscount’s attentions toward her — and this prospect distressed her deeply. She surely did not want the Colonel to be jealous about her. The revelation that the animosity between the two gentlemen was an old one put her at ease while she became more and more intrigued over their troubled history.

She was relieved when the Colonel started laughing. “Yes, not the best of friends indeed… In fact, I dare say there are very few people in London who are less friendly than we are.” “Sir, I hope his presence will not ruin your disposition for tonight. I was counting on you to help me rid myself of my anxiety and distress.”

He laughed again. “Have no worry, Miss Bennet! Lord Markham is not capable of ruining anything for me and certainly not tonight. I intend to enjoy myself as much as possible. However, I am sorry I did not find a way of avoiding introducing him to you. Now, you will have to dance with him.”

“Oh, come now, Colonel, you sound really frightening… There was no way you could have avoided such an insistent demand for an introduction. Actually, he seemed a nice, pleasant sort of gentlemen, and I really hope he is not completely unskillful when we dance. I think I can manage to bear him for a half an hour — after all, I tolerated my cousin, Mr. Collins, at the Netherfield ball, you know.”

“Yes, he seemed very nice and pleasant. As for dancing, no he is not unskillful — at least I think he is not… I surely have never danced with him.” He finally managed to relax during their amusing exchange.

“You never danced with whom, Colonel?” Lady Cassandra’s voice startled Elizabeth; she had not noticed her ladyship approaching them and, apparently, neither had the Colonel.

“Lady Cassandra! We were talking about Lord Markham. Unfortunately, he managed to gain access to your ball by way of his association with his cousins.” “Ah yes... His impertinence is unlimited, but I hope you will not allow him to disturb you in any way. What on earth did he have to say to you?”

“He demanded an introduction to Miss Bennet and asked her for a set.”

“I see... Well, Miss Bennet, at least, as the Colonel said — he is not a poor dancer. And speaking of dancing, I hope Darcy will appear soon as the music is about to start, and I surely would not want to be without a partner for the first set.”

“I should have known they were engaged for the first set,” thought Elizabeth with bitterness, but a moment later she censured her childish reaction. The Gardiners joined them, expressing their admiration for the house and the exquisite arrangement of the ball room. Lady Cassandra smiled and whispered to them that the credit should go to her companion who was the ‘author from the shadow’ of all the preparations.

“I am very pleased I invited you,” her ladyship addressed the Gardiners, “though I have to confess my reasons are mostly selfish! Except for the Colonel, Darcy and probably another ten people who truly came out of consideration for me and my family, yours are the only friendly faces in the room. Everybody else attended tonight with the purpose of staring at me after my absence of four years and to be able to spread as detailed a report as possible of me afterwards.”

The Colonel attempted to contradict her, but she stopped him. “Colonel, do not try to be polite. You know only too well that I hosted this ball precisely to formally announce my return to town; you also know that I chose this date, when the season is at end, with a very specific reason in mind.” She turned to the Gardiners, whispering. “I have waited for the most proper moment when many of the prominent families have just left town and thus would be very unlikely to return again so soon. There were quite a few whom I truly could not bear to see in my house.”

The conversation flowed easily until Mr. Darcy appeared in the ball room. At first, she did not see him enter but her eyes were drawn toward his direction and she stopped breathing for a moment when she did notice him. He was staring at her as he did so many times before — it was the same stare she noticed the night of the Netherfield ball. Now she knew the true meaning of his stare; and, though they were in the midst of an entire ball room filled with people, cold shivers gripped her.

Darcy had arrived very early as he had an appointment with Lady Cassandra’s solicitor and steward. She intended to postpone the meeting until after the ball, but he opposed; he was so anxious to see Elizabeth that he would rather do something with his time instead of pacing the room and making silly little conversations with the first guests who had arrived far too early. However, as the meeting seemed to progress longer than intended, he became impatient; he hardly could follow what was said in the last minutes. Consequently, he was forced to plan another meeting prior to their departure for Pemberley.

He did not have to search for her as his gaze was drawn to her in an instant. There she was — in the middle of their little group — talking to the Colonel and to her relatives, smiling, looking perfectly at ease in a room filled with strangers, most of whom were staring at her. She was so very beautiful in her pale yellow dress, with no other jewels accept her small garnet cross — which of course he could not see from a distance but knew was there nonetheless. Only some little flowers adorned her hair, and those two rebel locks which were always dancing on her neck were ever present.

He envied his cousin for having the benefit of her company and smiles. It was obvious they enjoyed each other’s company and were very well suited in manners. Yet, he was not jealous; he knew his cousin far too well and was certain he held no serious designs regarding Miss Bennet. He hoped he was correct to presume Miss Bennet’s affections did not rest with the Colonel.

Darcy remained near the entrance, watching her a few more minutes until she turned toward him. The moment their eyes met again, her smile faded instantly, yet her gaze remained locked with his across the room. No, she did not smile openly at him as she did at his cousin, nor did she appear at such perfect ease when he started walking toward her; however, he was certain she was not displeased to see him.

He approached the group and greeted them, pleased to see the Gardiners again and even more pleased to see her again. Her smile was tentative and her eyes seemed strangely shy when they met his. Still, the way her lips whispered, “Mr. Darcy…” while she curtseyed to him was incredibly charming and highly disturbing, and he could not take his eyes from her.

“Yes, she is wearing the garnet cross” was his thought as his eyes lowered from her face to the creamy skin of her neck.

“Darcy! Thank havens you appeared! I was afraid I would remain without a partner for the first set.”

“I apologize, but the appointment lasted longer than I anticipated,” he answered, finally averting his gaze from Elizabeth. Nevertheless, in mere moments, he returned his attention to her.

“Miss Bennet, if you are not otherwise engaged would you do me the honor of dancing the second set with me?”

“I am afraid I am already engaged for the second set, sir.... and for the third and forth.” The expression of surprise and disappointment upon his face was so obvious that she could not retain a smile.

“Oh...it seems I was indeed very late. Then perhaps the first set which is still available?”

“I would be delighted sir. That would be the fifth set, I think.” “Excellent,” he answered and his countenance lightened in an instant.

As the music started, each couple took their places on the dance floor. Elizabeth and the Colonel were situated immediately behind Darcy and Lady Cassandra and she was furious with herself for the raging emotions she could not control. She knew for certain that the dance would involve a change in places, and she would come to face him. She found herself nervously counting the steps until that moment would occur. When it happened, when Darcy’s hand joined hers, she was startled as countless chills burst from his touch, traveling wildly along her arm. After a few more steps, the Colonel’s hand once again held hers, then again the steps brought her near Darcy and their hands joined once more. At that moment, no doubts remained for Elizabeth: the sensation of his touch was different — shockingly, delightfully different.

That half an hour passed with a tumult of reactions in Elizabeth; she very much enjoyed her time with the Colonel — who was an excellent dancer — however, her attention was often focused on the couple next to them. Lady Cassandra looked more beautiful than she had seen her before, and her moves were full of grace and elegance. While they danced, she talked to Darcy all the time; and, though she did not hear them, Elizabeth could easily see they seemed very pleased with each other’s company. That was hardly a new revelation for her; however, she could not keep her eyes away from them and blushed in embarrassment when, more than once, her partner was forced to repeat a question. A few times, her gaze locked with Darcy’s, and he offered her a barely visible smile.

The end of the dance reunited Elizabeth with her uncle and aunt, and the Colonel excused himself to attend to some acquaintances he had neglected thus far. Mr. Darcy accompanied Lady Cassandra around the room a few minutes then, much to Elizabeth’s surprise, joined their little group and remained with them, engaged in a lively conversation with her uncle. At some point, he moved near her and, while they were talking about the journey they were to begin the next day, addressed the information mostly to her, “Mr. Bingley and his sisters returned to town three days ago.”

“Oh...” she was not quite surprised by that information, but now that the topic had been raised, her interest was unavoidable “Is Mr. Bingley well, I hope?”

“Yes, he is very well...though a little out of spirits. In fact, he has been quite out of spirits since last November and, apparently, his mood has not improved in his absence.”

She forgot to breathe for a moment, their gazes still locked. Was he trying to say what she thought he was suggesting? As if he had guessed her thoughts, he continued. “He obviously regrets giving up Netherfield. I look forward to discussing this further when we meet at Pemberley. Thus far, I have only met with him once and our conversation was limited.”

No. There could be no misunderstanding. Mr. Darcy was telling her not just that Bingley was as affected as Jane by their separation, but also that he intended to talk to him about the matter. Was it possible? Could Mr. Bingley be tempted to return to Netherfield? To Jane? And was Mr. Darcy truly determined to encourage him to do just that? Or was she, again, misinterpreting his words? The expression upon his face, however, was a clear indication of his true meaning. “Thank you,” she whispered, certain that no other words were needed for either of them.

The music began once again; and, when Elizabeth’s partner came to claim her hand, she turned her head a little and saw Darcy following her with his eyes. She blushed again, a feeling of strange joy overwhelming her heart.

For the second set Lady Cassandra, stood up with the Colonel, yet Darcy remained in a corner, talking to her relatives. Elizabeth barely knew her partner’s name and hardly understood anything he was saying. Her thoughts turned again and again to Darcy and the new revelation he had shared with her concerning Mr. Bingley — and how it would affect her sister, Jane.

Could there still be some hope of Mr. Bingley’s rekindling his relationship with Jane? she wondered, almost afraid to spend too much time hoping what could ultimately lead to disappointment.

Throughout the next hour and a half, Elizabeth and Darcy rarely met. She danced every set; he, on the other hand, danced only once and, during the dance, seemed caught up in the middle of some deep conversation. She felt his gaze upon her from across the room many times and allowed her eyes to meet his, wishing she could talk to him or be in his close proximity again.

Lady Cassandra was acting as a most wonderful host to every one of her guests, even if she had declared they were no friends of hers. Toward the Gardiners and herself especially, her ladyship was more than gracious. Every time the opportunity arose, she presented the Gardiners as her close friends, and her behavior was indeed very amiable. She complimented both her aunt and uncle’s skills in dancing and teased Elizabeth a few times about how every gentleman in the room wanted to secure a dance with her. Merrily, she taunted Elizabeth about her periodic lack of attention and wondered about the object of her thoughts. Elizabeth accepted her teasing and felt considerably less vexation than she did when she first encountered Lady Cassandra’s rather loose tongue.

When Lord Markham came to claim his set, Elizabeth was in the middle of the deepest meditation and hardly noticed him approaching.

“Miss Bennet — I have been waiting for this moment the entire evening.”

She smiled grimly when he took her hand, squeezing it slightly. She released her fingers from his and forced a polite expression to come upon her face. “I hope you will not be disappointed, my Lord. I am afraid the reality will not meet your expectations.”

“I am sure the reality will exceed my every expectation, Miss Bennet,” he answered. For a moment Elizabeth could not help but recall how very closely his speech patterns resembled those of Mr. Collins and Mr. Wickham at the same time.

She had been informed by Mrs. Gardiner — who seemed to possess interesting information about almost everybody in the room — that Lord Markham was the heir of one of the most illustrious families of the ton. He was undoubtedly very handsome; however, Mr. Gardiner, clearly displeased with the gentleman’s impetuous manner of seeking an introduction to Elizabeth, remembered the Viscount was known at his club to be a very unwise and wild young man who spent his time and money recklessly and was not to be trusted by any young lady interested in maintaining her good reputation. Elizabeth had laughed at her uncle’s serious tone and assured him she was in no danger of trusting Lord Markham at all. Secretly she admitted to herself that, even if the Viscount were the most decent, honest and proper gentleman, her mind was too full of thoughts of Mr. Darcy for any other gentleman to draw her attention.

The dance started, and Elizabeth discovered that Lord Markham was a perfect dancer and very pleasant company. However, he made no attempt to conceal his curiosity about her; he inquired about her family and their connection to Lady Cassandra. Elizabeth tried to answer his questions politely but evasively, declaring they were pleased to have her ladyship’s friendship. He pressed her further, asking if she knew anything of Lady Cassandra’s plans now she had returned to town. Archly, Elizabeth offered to request that her ladyship inform him later about her intentions; and, for a time, her derision caused him to put an end to inquiries regarding Lady Cassandra. However, other questions soon continued in rapid succession. At one point, Elizabeth almost erupted in laughter as she listened to him mix his compliments to her with inquiries regarding Lady Cassandra, Mr. Darcy or the Colonel.

If Elizabeth believed she would have occasion to meet with Lord Markham again, she would have more earnestly attempted to restrain the conversation. However, knowing perfectly well she would be unlikely to ever meet him again, she allowed herself to enjoy the dance and laugh silently at his open admiration of her. Mr. Collins would truly envy Lord Markham’s ability to compose little compliments to delight the ladies, she thought gleefully. Her eyes met Mr. Darcy’s gaze that instant — he was still not dancing — and he seemed very serious and...worried. Surely he does not seriously consider Lord Markham a rival? Could he be jealous?

She could hardly understand their strong reactions against the Viscount, who seemed to her more a spoiled, rich and slightly ridiculous young gentleman, accustomed to easily gain anything with his charm, than a dangerous ogre. She smiled at Darcy and held his gaze a little, until she realized her dance partner had noticed the direction of her glance and was looking at her with great curiosity. He intended to actually say something; but, fortunately, the dance ended, and he had no choice other than to lead her back to her relatives.

To Elizabeth’s surprise, the Viscount asked to be allowed to call on her the next day. With unmistaken satisfaction, Mr. Gardiner informed him it would be impossible as they were leaving London the very next morning. Lord Markham inquired about the length of their absence from town and seemed highly displeased to hear that Elizabeth would likely return directly to her father’s estate and not visit London again any time soon following their journey. Darcy approached at that very moment, and Lord Markham finally left them after asking her for the favor of a second set. Elizabeth hesitated a moment and was tempted to decline, yet she had no real reason to refuse him, so she thanked him politely and accepted the invitation.

Although Mr. Darcy offered no opinion, she could not mistake his displeasure. She was afforded little time to consider it fully as the music was due to begin very soon.

Elizabeth felt herself trembling and blushed, furious at her silly reaction. This was his dance. Mr. Darcy’s hand silently claimed hers and she did not leave him waiting long. His fingers gently caught hers and not even their gloves could protect her from his burning touch. The room was suffocatingly warm, yet she shivered under the wave of coldness that enveloped her body.

They started to dance, but she could barely hear the music; she was staring at him, yet she could read nothing in his eyes which merely returned her stare nonchalantly.

“Miss Bennet — we should have at least some conversation, I think. What is your opinion of the ball? It has been very satisfying so far, would you not agree?”

Her cheeks colored as she remembered her rudeness on the evening of the Netherfield ball and how pleased she was as she punished him with her harsh words aimed at making him feel uncomfortable. She cringed now imagining what he must have thought of her silliness and her impertinence on that evening.

"It is your turn to say something now, Miss Bennet – I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some kind of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples," he continued levelly. A peel of laughter escaped her lips showing more proof of her nervousness than her real amusement. He smiled however, looking very pleased at her reaction.

“This is the moment when I should apologize for my outrageous behavior on that night, Mr. Darcy,” she said, holding his gaze and willing him to understand how much she regretted her conduct.

“No indeed, Miss Bennet. This, I believe, is the moment when you should say something that will amaze the whole room.”

This time she laughed wholeheartedly at his unexpected teasing. “Very well sir. There is no need to say anything more. I admit I merit your subtle censure and I insist on apologizing. My manners and my entire attitude during our dance at the Netherfield ball were unforgivable. Actually, I am truly amazed you would ask me to dance with you ever again.”

“Miss Bennet, let us not discuss either of our behaviors on that night. I confess that dancing with you was very enjoyable despite our disagreement. The rest of the evening I recall with very little pleasure. Please forgive me for bringing back that particular recollection with my poor attempts to tease you.”

He sounded very serious and his expression was full of remorse. Without considering the consequences of her gesture, her fingers squeezed his when their hands met again and remained entwined until the dance forced them to part.

“Your attempt to mock me was very good indeed, sir, and so was your teasing. You have improved considerably in this aspect; it is obvious you have given yourself the trouble of practicing more.” Her cheeks were burning in self mortification as she listened to herself actually flirting with him, yet the expression of delight on his face was reward enough for her archness.

He felt a wild urge to kiss her, right there — to silence those teasing lips with his mouth which burned with desire for her. He longed to make her sparkling eyes hide behind her lashes as his passion overwhelmed her. His stare remained fixed upon her face while his steps moved him closer to her and around her, his arm brushing hers. He noticed her blushing under his stare, a wave of redness covering not only her cheeks but also her neck and delicious ear lobes; yet she daringly allowed her gaze to remain locked with his. Her smile now belonged only to him and he fancied for a moment that she had turned those bright eyes to no one but him. He hoped this time he was not misjudging her regard for him.

From the time he entered the room, he had barely done anything but watch her. Between dances he had tried to be close to her; while she danced, he could do nothing but stare at her. He knew he was acting ridiculously and that anyone with a little perceptiveness could easily guess the nature of his interest in her. He even knew his behavior could place her in an embarrassing situation, but he was no longer capable of controlling himself, especially as he knew this was the last time he would see her for quite a while. In the past fortnight, her presence became such a constant in his life that the mere thought of her disappearing again was unbearably painful. He could not allow it to happen, although there was nothing he could do at the present time to prevent it.

“Mr. Darcy, now I think we really must have some conversation, sir. We have been silent for too long.”

He startled and forced his eyes to be drawn away from her lips as he answered. “You are perfectly right, Miss Bennet. Since books are not your favorite subject to discuss while you are dancing, let us talk...ah…about traveling, for instance.”

“A wonderful topic indeed sir,” she agreed. “I am certain you have much more to say than I do and would be delighted to hear your thoughts on the subject.”

He did talk — not about traveling in general, but about their traveling to the north and traveling to Pemberley and how long those trips should be. The topic seemed to inspire great interest in both of them for they did not cease their conversation, not even when the music stopped. Elizabeth felt her cheeks burning with pleasure and embarrassment the entire time as his entire speech seemed to have one goal – to calculate the day she would arrive in Derbyshire.

Darcy held her hand while escorting her to the Gardiners and, again, he remained with them. Elizabeth was slowly recovering her emotions after their dance; she was unsure if she was content to have him remain with her or if she would rather he leave her while she restored herself fully. Fortunately, her aunt and uncle led all the conversation and she enjoyed her cold drink in silence while waiting to be invited to supper.

Colonel Fitzwilliam joined them, and delighted them with his general good humor, declaring he was starved. A moment later, Lady Cassandra approached their group wearing an expression of utter delight upon her face. She is so very beautiful, thought Elizabeth, amazed to notice that her ladyship’s eyes were more green and glowed more powerfully than the exquisite jewels she was wearing.

“Lady Cassandra, am I wrong if I presume you are not inviting us to supper? Your expression is a little frightening, I might say,” declared Darcy, and her ladyship arched her brow to him, shaking her head in mock censure.

“Darcy, how can you say I am frightening? Do I look frightening, Mr. Gardiner?” she asked, turning to the gentleman.

“No indeed, Lady Cassandra, you look beautiful and charming,” he declared. She responded by throwing a satisfied glance at Darcy who in turn rolled his eyes. They were obviously joking and teasing each other and Elizabeth could sense again the warmth and intimacy of their relationship.

“However, Darcy, you are right in one aspect: I do have a surprise for you all before supper! In fact I am very curious IF my guest will appreciate my surprise,” she said, smiling mischievously while Darcy cast a quick, intriguing glance at both Elizabeth and her relatives, saying, you see that I was right about being frightened?

However, nothing prepared them for what came next: the music started again and it took only a few moments before everyone in the room recognized the notes of the infamous waltz!

Rumors and agitation spread throughout the room and Lady Cassandra threw them a satisfied look, perfectly matched with the expression of delight in her eyes. “So Darcy, Colonel, which of you will help me to execute my surprise? I know very well that both of you are proficient at this dance so you have no excuse.”

“Lady Cassandra, as you know, I am not proficient at all. Of course, if you insist I will dance with you, but I am not very fond of surprises of this sort which will only raise more gossip.” Elizabeth could see that Darcy was seriously displeased, and she felt embarrassed for her ladyship. Even if she and her relatives had spent a considerable amount of time with Lady Cassandra, she was still a relative stranger who no doubt did not welcome being chastised publicly. However, when she turned to face the lady, she remained unaffected.

“Oh come now, Darcy, you are way too serious and too preoccupied by society’s’ opinion. Let us enjoy the delight of the waltz, Lady Cassandra,” said the Colonel.

Indeed they allowed themselves to almost float to the dance floor, seemingly ignoring the stares and reproachful looks of the guests. Elizabeth’s eyes followed them, mesmerized by the spell of their harmonious moves and the enchanting music. So absorbed was she in her admiration that she failed to notice when her aunt and uncle left them. A few moments later, in utter shock, Elizabeth saw the Gardiners joining Lady Cassandra and the Colonel on the dance floor — two pairs beautifully gliding around the room.

“Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner are very proficient, too,” whispered Darcy and she only nodded in silence. She had heard about the waltz previously, but she had never seen anyone dance it. The proximity of the couples, the intimacy the music inspired, the romantic manner in which each couple entwined their hands, all led Elizabeth to delight in the experience of simply watching the dance unfold. Slowly, other couples courageously joined the two couples in the dancing area and, while they were nowhere near as skilled as the first dancers, more and more couples followed their example. Elizabeth watched the dancing in awe. Unconsciously she whispered “beautiful”, almost oblivious to the presence of Darcy until he lowered his head to speak to her.

“Yes, it does look beautiful indeed.”

She startled and blushed, not daring to meet his eyes. “I am sorry... I must look very silly, lost in my reverie, but this is the first time I have actually seen this dance...and I am afraid it has an enchanting effect over me.” She tried to sound light and amused to hide her embarrassment, but any attempt failed a moment later, when he spoke again.

“Miss Bennet, would you be tempted to... I mean would you like to try to dance? I did learn the steps some time ago and I would be delighted to show them to you.”

She stood speechless, looking at him as though she did not understand him. “Are you inviting me to waltz, sir?” You just refused Lady Cassandra! was the thought that raced through her head. The mere thought of him embracing her, her hands clasped in his was enough to send her mind reeling. If she agreed, she feared she would not be able to breathe, let alone follow what appeared to be the complex set of steps required of the dance.

“Yes...that is if you are tempted to... Miss Bennet, I hope I did not offend you... I mean there are many people who find the dance offensive and would never even consider trying it...” He appeared to be deeply embarrassed, but there was something else in his expression that she could not comprehend.

However, she thought, he could not possibly be more embarrassed than I am... I am so tempted to accept, even if by doing so I shall make a fool of myself... After all, he knows I do not know how to dance the waltz but still insisted... What would happen if I agreed?”

“Sir, I cannot accept and you surely must not insist. It would be the most embarrassing moment for both of us... We just danced together a few minutes ago so let us...”

“You are perfectly right, Miss Bennet. Please forgive me. I should not even have mentioned it. It was most inconsiderate of me.” Darcy was deeply mortified. Immediately after inviting her to join in the waltz, he knew he was making a mistake but he could not fight his desire to hold her in his arms. Although he preferred the thought of holding her while they were alone, he had seized the opportunity to embrace her, thoughtlessly fearing it may be the only time she would let him hold her at all. Once again, he had selfishly considered only his desires and had shown no respect for hers. Surely, she would not welcome becoming a spectacle before a room full of strangers. The very idea now seemed ridiculous!

Her refusal was even more painful to him as her major concern seemed to be that they just danced previously and repeating the experience would be a sign of his interest in her — a sign she did not wish to expose publicly. What was he to do? He had gained a moment of privacy with her and he managed to ruin it. Should he depart and leave her alone to enjoy the view, before making a complete fool of himself?

“Mr. Darcy, is everything well, sir?”

Very well done, Darcy, now you managed to worry her, among other things. “Yes, perfectly well, Miss Bennet.”

“I was telling you sir, that we just danced and I dare say we made a reasonably good impression. So, as much as I would be tempted to accept your generous offer, I would suggest we not jeopardize your reputation with my clumsiness. Lady Cassandra would surely not forgive me for ruining her waltz.”

Her tentative smile showed that she was not completely at ease and she was obviously trying to lighten the tension he had created; but her eyes were laughing at him. He could not decide whether to be happy that his presumptions proved to be wrong, or that she did not dislike the idea of dancing with him a second time or the idea of him teaching her that dance — or to be sad that he had misinterpreted her reaction once again.

“A very wise decision, Miss Bennet,” he agreed, finally regaining his spirit.

They spent the next few minutes silently admiring the dancers and, when the music stopped, he offered her his arm and accompanied her to the dining room.

Elizabeth had another surprise when she discovered that Lady Cassandra had placed them very close to her at the table. At her right was Mr. Darcy and next to him Mrs. Gardiner; she, Elizabeth, was most happily situated between her uncle and Colonel Fitzwilliam, facing her aunt. When she took her seat, she turned to Lady Cassandra and nodded her head in a gesture of gratitude and received her ladyship’s smile of acknowledgement.

During supper, Elizabeth allowed herself a few minutes to reflect on the evening. She was having a better time than she had expected; her aunt and uncle seemed to enjoy themselves even more than she and looked perfectly easy, content to ignore the sharp looks and whispers from some of the guests. She knew her relatives to be fashionable people, accustomed to London Society, but their boldness in joining Lady Cassandra and her partner for the waltz surprised Elizabeth. However, her ladyship was exceedingly pleased they had joined her and Colonel Fitzwilliam — of that there was no doubt.

Colonel Fitzwilliam was as nice and friendly during dinner as he was the entire evening. Elizabeth found herself laughing a few times at his exchanges with Lady Cassandra. Mr. Darcy, on the other hand, was considerably more serious; his glances traveled along the table more than once, glancing carefully at all the guests. Sometimes she met his gaze, sometimes she only felt it burning her face, yet each time her reaction to him was equally strong.

Her doubts concerning the nature of Mr. Darcy and Lady Cassandra’s relationship remained. At one point Elizabeth heard some whispered speculations about a possible engagement to be announced between the two of them; and, for a moment, she was afraid the rumors might prove to be correct. However, she put aside that worry very soon; Mr. Darcy’s attentions toward her — repeated and openly displayed — were the strongest proof that his interest, his affection or his honor could not be engaged elsewhere. About Lady Cassandra’s interest and affection she could not be absolutely certain, however her ladyship by no means showed any kind of jealousy, nor did she try to keep Mr. Darcy’s attentions to herself. Except that she placed him at her right, she thought, then instantly scolded herself for her silent doubting.

The most intriguing character for Elizabeth was Lord Markham who was seated very close to them — most likely because that seat was planned for somebody else. Mr. Darcy and the Colonel seemed to share the same ill opinion about the Viscount — their dislike was so obvious that they even avoided him in their conversations and made no attempt to answer his direct questions. Elizabeth was certain that the reasons for their negative opinion of him must be very serious, however the Viscount did not seem affected by their disregard of him in the slightest. From time to time he cast quick glances to Lady Cassandra, but her ladyship patently ignored him the entire evening.

Elizabeth, on the other hand, could not ignore him as Lord Markham continued to extend his courtesy toward her. She tried to remain polite, yet she became more restrained with her smiles as she was afraid he might take even her mere politeness as a sign of encouragement. She regarded his interest in her warily. Surely, he could have no serious designs upon her. If he was looking to merely flirt with someone, there were a number of other ladies present who perhaps would have welcomed his attentions more graciously.

Elizabeth shuddered to think of the talent she seemed to possess to attract the attention of persons whom she wished to avoid.

The second part of the evening was equally as pleasant. Elizabeth was engaged for every set and once more danced with Lord Markham — to whom she made a marked effort to behave politely but distantly — and with the Colonel, with whom she experienced nothing but delight.

However, with every hour that passed, Elizabeth grew more anxious and more distressed, enjoying her time less and less. All she could think of was their imminent departure and her separation from certain acquaintances she truly did not wish to leave. She knew her reactions were silly and childish, especially since she had anticipated their tour with the greatest eagerness for months; yet now she could not fight against the sadness which defeated all her excitement.

A few times she was certain Darcy could understand her thoughts and — daring presumption! — was experiencing the same feelings.

Immediately after supper he had asked her if she was engaged for the last set. Fortunately, she was not and he immediately secured it for himself. For the remainder of the ball, he availed himself of every opportunity to be near her. In fact, he spoke very little with anyone else except Lady Cassandra and the Colonel — who even teased him about his sudden low spirits and how his constant gaze hardly left her.

When the last set was announced, he gravely and silently claimed her hand, holding it tightly. They barely talked at all for the entire half an hour — yet Elizabeth felt no need for words. Everything that could be said between them had been said.

Although she was not completely free of doubt, the intensity of his gaze, the light brushing of his fingers against hers, the bittersweet look of sadness mixed with contentment, the smile which tentatively appeared on his lips from time to time — all boded well for their expected meeting at Pemberley. His silence revealed so much and left her with so many hopes — hopes for herself, hope for her sister…hope for the future.