Chapter 6
Darcy followed the carriage with a yearning gaze long after it disappeared from his view. His sister and Mr. Bingley discreetly retired into the house, allowing him the privacy of his thoughts, and he did not even notice that he remained alone. The summer night became cold – he felt cold after she had gone and left him alone.
The powerful, gripping sensation of loneliness wrapped him, and he finally returned inside; the sound of his steps echoing along the halls of Pemberley only increased his feeling of empty solitude. Suddenly, it crossed his mind that Pemberley needed her warmth, her laugh, her liveliness as much as he did. Now that she had been there and left, he became more certain than ever before of how much he needed her presence. Fortunately, he finally had reason to hope: she told him she was happy to be there, at Pemberley...perhaps happy to be with him, too? Indeed, she looked happy and delighted and she truly, deeply liked Pemberley, he had seen that when she spent long minutes in front of the window simply admiring the grounds...nobody had done that, except his closest family. Of course, generally, people approved of his home, but Elizabeth’s approval was simply wholehearted!
When he entered the drawing room, the first thing which crossed his mind was to find an excuse and retire to his apartment. He wanted to simply lie in his bed and think of Elizabeth -- of her much sought after and much expected visit for the next day. She would be spending many hours at Pemberley without her relatives and he must find a way to postpone any other activities to be around her. In the morning he would accompany Mr. Gardiner and Bingley for fishing and around noon he would have to visit a tenant whose health was in bad condition and whose family needed help; he had to go because he had to assess the situation personally and take the proper measures. But after that, he would be free and, hopefully, still have some time to spend with her. He wondered where Georgiana planned to take Elizabeth for their walk; his sister had been quite secretive, as she confessed she wanted to spend some “undisturbed” time with Elizabeth – and he knew only too well which were the possible disturbances, so he had not inquired further.
"How very ill Eliza Bennet looked this morning, Mr. Darcy," cried Miss Bingley the moment he poured himself a glass of wine and took a seat.
“Speaking of disturbance,” he thought, unconsciously rolling his eyes. He cast a quick glance around the room and met Georgiana’s upset countenance and Lady Cassandra’s smiling face. He frowned at her, wordlessly asking her to avoid flaming replies, but her ladyship’s mischievous expression warned him she did not give much consideration to his plea.
Miss Bingley continued impassively: "I never in my life saw anyone so much altered as she is since the winter. She has grown so brown and coarse! Louisa and I were agreeing that we should not have known her again."
However little Darcy liked such a ridiculous and obviously mean address, he remained calm, contented with coolly replying that he perceived no other alteration than her being rather tanned -- no miraculous consequence of traveling in the summer.
“I think Miss Bennet looked very well every time I met her,” Lady Cassandra intervened. “She is indeed one of those ladies whose natural charm needs little adjustment and little help to be very agreeable. I can understand why both Darcy and Georgiana seem to approve of her very much.”
Her ladyship’s words made Miss Bingley pale, and her anger grew until she put any prudence aside. "For my own part," she rejoined, "I must confess that I never could see any beauty in her. Her face is too thin; her complexion has no brilliancy; and her features are not at all handsome. Her nose wants character -- there is nothing marked in its lines. Her teeth are tolerable, but not out of the common way; and as for her eyes, which have sometimes been called so fine, I never could perceive anything extraordinary in them. They have a sharp, shrewish look, which I do not like at all; and in her air altogether there is a self-sufficiency without fashion which is intolerable."
“I think Miss Elizabeth is one of the loveliest young ladies I have ever known,” interjected Mr. Bingley decidedly, and Miss Darcy hurried to agree with him, but neither Miss Bingley nor Mrs. Hurst showed any sign of hearing him.
“Miss Bingley, your perceptiveness and remarkable attention for details amazes me! It is truly astonishing, I can tell you!” Lady Cassandra’s voice surprised almost everyone, as it sounded like a perfect mix of sweet politeness and deep admiration, and Darcy felt a sudden need to gulp some more wine in order to hide his nervous laugh, anxious about what she would say next.
“You know, Miss Bingley, I have been in Miss Bennet’s company quite often lately but I never noticed the line of her nose or her teeth. I will have to be more attentive next time. What about you, Darcy? Had you noticed any of these aspects of Miss Bennet’s appearance? What would you say about her teeth and her nose? What about her eyes which – as Miss Bingley pointed out – have sometimes been called so fine?”
Darcy chuckled then quickly hid his expression behind his glass, casting a most severe and scolding look toward her ladyship who then returned a serene and joyful glance. He could not help but smile back at her, despite his complete disapproval of any attempt at continuing the conversation about Elizabeth. However, he could not restrain himself from answering Lady Cassandra, though only mentally. “Yes, I did notice each and every feature of Elizabeth’s beautiful face, each detail of her charming appearance, and I spend hours and hours admiring them!” He saw her ladyship gazing at him as she could guess the subject of his thoughts; however, it was Miss Bingley who spoke again.
“Oh, Mr. Darcy did share his opinion about Miss Bennet with us long ago, when we were at Netherfield,” said Miss Bingley, looking at the named gentleman. She saw him somewhat nettled and she considered she had all the success she expected. Darcy remained resolutely silent, however, and, from an obvious determination of making him speak, she continued -- "I remember, when we first knew her in Hertfordshire, how amazed we all were to find that she was a reputed beauty; and I particularly recollect your saying one night, Mr. Darcy, after they had been dining at Netherfield, 'She a beauty! I should as soon call her mother a wit’ But afterwards she seemed to improve on you, and I believe you thought her rather pretty at one time."
"Yes," replied Darcy, who could contain himself no longer, "but that was only when I first knew Miss Bennet; for it is many months since I have considered her as one of the handsomest women of my acquaintance.”
Miss Bingley stared at him blankly and blinked repeatedly as she could not believe the gentleman’s words. As allowing no misunderstanding, he continued. “It is also many months since I understood how wrong I have been in judging so hastily not only Miss Elizabeth but many other things during our stay in Hertfordshire. I will make sure to never repeat such a grave mistake again.”
His last words were spoken in such a severe tone which admitted no reply, while his gaze, which lay upon Miss Bingley for a moment, showed no warmth or cordiality. Miss Bingley remained strangely silent for the rest of the evening. Apparently, the satisfaction of having forced Mr. Darcy to express his opinion about Miss Bennet gave no one any pain but herself: pain and rage and the strongest desire of never seeing Miss Bennet again, even with the risk of having Mr. Darcy to end up married to Lady Cassandra. After all, being defeated by her ladyship was considerably less humiliating than being defeated by that country nobody, Eliza Bennet.
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It was a little before noon when Elizabeth and Mrs. Gardiner descended in front of Pemberley. A strange sensation of peaceful bliss brought a large smile to Elizabeth’s face while she admired the beauties around her. This time she knew she was welcomed, that her presence was awaited and desired – and no fear, no doubt, no disturbing thought threatened her happiness.
A servant showed them in to where the other ladies were expecting them. Half an hour was spend in pleasant conversation – mostly between Lady Cassandra and Mrs. Gardiner, with some help from Elizabeth. Miss Darcy seemed uncomfortable, however she whispered to Elizabeth a couple of times about how anxious she was to spend the afternoon together. It was not difficult for Elizabeth to notice that Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst were even less friendly than the previous day, and they seemed unpleasantly impressed by the obvious closeness between her and Georgiana.
The gentlemen’s appearance took all of them by surprise; Elizabeth’s eyes instantly directed toward Mr. Darcy and met his for a moment then moved forward to her uncle, who seemed to be in a better mood than ever.
Less than half an hour later, Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner departed as they were expected to make a few calls during the afternoon. Mr. Darcy promised to take care about Elizabeth being sent under proper escort to the inn later that day to change for dinner; he expressed his hopes of being reunited all together in the evening at Pemberley.
Elizabeth knew little about how Miss Darcy intended to spend their day together and who else would attend them; so, when her hostess invited her on a long walk through the grounds around the house, she accepted with utter pleasure; she only hoped Miss Bingley or Mrs. Hurst would not be tempted to join them.
Fortunately, it appeared the plans had been already made the previous day and none of the ladies intended to accompany them. In fact, Miss Bingley clearly expressed her disapproval at the mere idea of walking a long distance instead of taking a phaeton, especially considering the sky was cloudy and there was the possibility of rain. Mr. Bingley quickly contradicted his sister, insisting the beauties around Pemberley were better enjoyed on foot, and he expressed his hopes that the young ladies would have a wonderful time. His sisters, however, seemed to ignore what little he said.
“Dear Georgiana, you should be prudent with these things; it is not proper for a lady of your consequences to expose herself so. As for Miss Bennet, she is well known to be an excellent walker, despite the weather. I remember how surprised we had been when she appeared one morning at Netherfield after walking three miles on a very muddy road. I have always wondered how she managed to walk so long with all that mud on her shoes and petticoat. Mr. Darcy, you remember that, I am sure.”
Elizabeth blushed lightly at the obvious offense. More than the remembrance of that day, when she had arrived at Netherfield unexpected and uninvited, caring of nothing except Jane’s illness, the reason of her blushing was the memory of the talk in her uncle’s house, when Darcy expressed his approval for her behavior during that past occasion. She cast a quick glance to the others, noticing Mrs. Hurst with a satisfied smirk and Lady Cassandra's frowning expression. Miss Darcy’s face was crimson, while Mr. Darcy’s countenance darkened.
“Yes, I do remember, quite vividly, Miss Bingley. I remember how impressed I had been with Miss Bennet’s courage and concern for her sister’s well being.”
“Perhaps,” insisted Miss Bingley, with a sharp voice and a meaningful look to Mrs. Hurst, “but you have also agreed you would not want to see Miss Darcy in such a condition.”
Caroline Bingley’s attempt at showing her in an unfavorable light by bringing back their history from Hertfordshire started to irritate Elizabeth and made her lose her patience; before saying anything, though, she cast another glance at Mr. Darcy; his face, vaguely pale, made it clear to her that, most likely, what Miss Bingley declared was true.
Trying to put aside any doubts, the gentleman answered soundly, “You are correct, Miss Bingley. I did unwisely declare that I would not want to see Georgiana in such a state. However, what I did not declare at that time was that I would wish very much for Georgiana to have a sister to care for her as much as Miss Elizabeth cared for Miss Bennet.”
Elizabeth felt all the blood drain from her face; what was he saying in front of all these people? Was he aware he was revealing all those private thoughts he had struggled to keep hidden in November? Only for a moment she dared to look at him, and his slightly embarrassed expression, as well as the uncertainty in his eyes, proved to her that he did know very well the meaning of his words. She felt dizzy.
“Miss Bennet, so – how did you come to walk three miles with your shoes and petticoat full of mud?” asked Lady Cassandra, then she suddenly turned to Miss Bingley, adding: “By the by, Miss Bingley, as I told you last night, your perceptiveness amazes me again. I never look at a lady’s shoes or petticoats, no matter the situation. I must be more attentive in the future.”
Elizabeth could hardly hold her chuckle while struggling to regain her composure and answer her ladyship coherently, though she had strong suspicions that Lady Cassandra was only too well acquainted with that story.
“My sister Jane, who was visiting Miss Bingley and Mrs. Hurst, was caught in the rain and fell ill; she sent me a note saying she needed my presence. And since I am not much of a horsewoman and our carriage was not available at the moment, I hardly had another option.”
“I see -- I have to agree with Darcy, this seemed very courageous and caring of you. I am sure the goodness of your reason can excuse the poor state of your gown. And I dare say you would walk three miles for Georgiana, too, if needed,” she said, her words shocking Elizabeth even more, as they were an obvious continuation of the idea of “Georgiana having a sister.” She had no time to react in any other way except to feel her cheeks burn in embarrassment, as Lady Cassandra rose from her seat decidedly.
“Now, if you will excuse me, I should go and prepare myself for riding. Darcy, please do not leave without me. I will be ready in half an hour. And Georgiana, you and Miss Bennet should not delay long either; it is already quite late.”
She walked to the door; but, after only a few steps, Miss Bingley’s voice stopped her. “Lady Cassandra, do you plan to go riding together with Mr. Darcy?”
“Yes, I do. Why are you asking, Miss Bingley?”
“I...but I thought... I remember Mr. Darcy mentioning it will be a full hour of riding.”
“And? Do you have a point with this?” Lady Cassandra grew less and less calm with every minute, and it was not hard to notice she was close to the edge of her tolerance.
“I was only wondering if it would be wise for you to ride such a long way...alone with Mr. Darcy... I mean people could talk and...”
Lady Cassandra cast a quick glance to Darcy, then to Elizabeth and Georgiana, wearing an impenetrable expression on her face. Then she returned to Miss Bingley again, smiling with apparent warmth.
“Miss Bingley, I thank you for your considerate care, but I am an excellent rider... As for the impropriety of riding alone with Darcy...well, what harm can be made? In the worse case scenario, he will have to marry me, which is not at all an unpleasant prospect, would you not agree?”
She exited the room with no other delay while Miss Bingley remained staring at the door, so pale that Elizabeth was certain she might faint. Obviously, sharing the same impression, Mr. Bingley offered his sister a glass of water or wine but she, again, did not hear him.
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Miss Darcy seemed happier than Elizabeth had ever seen her before. A servant brought them a basket with some cold refreshments and a rolled blanket -- so Elizabeth understood her friend had also planned a little picnic,. Miss Darcy’s exuberance was contagious and Elizabeth made every effort to match her delight, though she did not feel completely at ease. The talk inside the house between Lady Cassandra and Miss Bingley was fresh in her mind and quite disturbing. She knew her ladyship had spoken in jest and was also certain of Mr. Darcy's attention toward herself. However, she had to agree with Miss Bingley: what would happen if rumors about Lady Cassandra and Mr. Darcy should be spread around? Being a man of honor, how could Mr. Darcy refuse his duty? And why was he acting so unwisely, so imprudently as to be caught in an indelicate situation if he had a serious design toward her?
“Miss Bennet, Georgiana, I see you are ready to leave.” Mr. Darcy’s voice startled Elizabeth and she forced a small smile, trying to regain her composure.
“Yes, we are, brother.”
“I see you are prepared for a picnic. May I inquire where you plan to go?”
Miss Darcy hesitated a moment, and her expression changed vaguely while she looked soundly at her brother. “I was planning to take Elizabeth to Sunny Grove. I hope you approve of it.”
Mr. Darcy’s expression also changed in an instant. The siblings silently looked at each other intensely for so long that Elizabeth began to worry that a simple walk could affect them so.
Then the gentleman’s face lit up and a smile spread over it, warming his features. “I do approve of it; I think it is an excellent idea. In fact, as I have not visited that area in a great while, would you allow me to accompany you until Lady Cassandra is ready for our ride? I could also help you with your things, so you will not need to take a servant with you.”
“Oh, brother, that would be wonderful! Thank you!” She had regained all her enthusiasm while her beautiful eyes brightened with happiness. Then she remembered her manners and turned to Elizabeth. “Elizabeth, forgive me for not asking you. I hope you would not mind.”
Elizabeth did not mind at all, quite the opposite. To hide her nervousness, she tried to reply in jest with a light tone and a smile as joyful as her friend’s. “Dear Georgiana, how could I mind that the master of the house offered to carry our baskets? And even if I would mind, how could I dare admit it while I am on his grounds?”
Georgiana laughed and Elizabeth glanced at the gentleman to see how her teasing affected him; he was smiling, not an open smile, but a barely noticeable one, while his eyes locked on hers; however, he said nothing, only took the basket and the blanket and invited them to follow him.
They walked less then ten minutes until they reached a lake, quite large and seemingly very deep, as well. Miss Darcy took Elizabeth’s arm and directed her toward a footbridge with an encouraging smile.
“We have to pass by here. My father ordered this bridge to be built a long time ago and it is quite safe; if we want to make a detour around the lake it would be at least an hour-long walk.”
Elizabeth returned her smile while following Georgiana on the narrow bridge. “Well, if you say it is quite safe, how could I contradict you?”
They reached the other side, waiting for Mr. Darcy to join them. The footbridge seemed to be violently moving under the gentleman’s weight and Elizabeth frowned. Miss Darcy laughed while whispering to her, “Do not worry. Even if the bridge should break and have William fall in the water, nothing bad could happen. He is an excellent swimmer.”
Elizabeth nodded, not with relief but with much mortification as her thoughts suddenly centered on the image of Mr. Darcy swimming in the lake. In order to hide her obviously crimson cheeks, she averted her eyes from the gentleman and asked her friend how long it would be before they reached their destination?
“Only ten more minutes. Are you tired?”
“No, not at all. Quite the contrary, I am delighted.”
They walked again at a slower pace, through a small wood on a high hill; it was a most pleasant day, not very warm as the sky was slightly clouded and a cool breeze was gently blowing. From time to time, Elizabeth stopped and turned around to enjoy the view of Pemberley for a few moments then continued to walk and again turned to look at the valley and the beautiful house; her companions only smiled at each other.
Suddenly, Elizabeth froze. In the middle of the wood some of the trees had grown arranged in a perfect square as large as a spacious ball room; their fronds and the grass were glowing and shining, highlighted by the warm rays of sunbeams. She gasped, breathless, and moved, mesmerized, to the middle of the square, spinning around as if to catch ever single spot; finally, after some long moments of silent bliss, she turned to her companions: “Sunny Grove.”
“Yes, this is the place,” answered Miss Darcy, the emotion hardly allowing her to speak.
“Beautiful. Perfect,” whispered Elizabeth, while she lifted her eyes to the sky. In that very place, the sun seemed determined to appear from behind the clouds and to shine upon the grove.
“I am pleased you enjoy the place, Miss Bennet,” said Mr. Darcy after he put the basket down and arranged the blanket. She turned to him and smiled with delight.
“How could I not enjoy it, sir? Was there ever anyone who did not enjoy all this beauty?”
He seemed suddenly uneasy and averted his eyes from her a moment then locked on her glance again. “I could not tell. We do love this place very much, and so did my parents. As for the others...we have never brought anyone here; it is a very private place, meant for the family only.”
Her heart stopped and she felt her strength escape her while her knees seemed unable to remain steady. “Meant for the family only” were the words which echoed louder and louder in her head, making her dizzy. Was he upset that Georgiana had brought her here to invade the privacy of this special place? Their glances were still locked, and she hoped she was correct in assuming he did not look displeased. As if guessing her thoughts, he spoke again, his voice warm and gentle addressing only her. “I am pleased that my sister decided to come here and dare say you will have a wonderful time together; I am only sorry I have no time to remain in your company longer. However, I hope we will have another opportunity very soon.”
Before Elizabeth managed to regain her composure, he greeted them and left, her eyes following him until he disappeared from view. Miss Darcy’s voice inviting her to sit and asking if she would like some refreshments brought her attention back to the present.
For a few minutes they talked lightly about their surroundings and the weather, trying tentatively to establish a subject of conversation agreeable to both.
“Georgiana, thank you for your kindness and your trust in bringing me here to this place so special to you.”
“You are very welcome -- I knew you will like it as much as we do.” She paused a moment, searching for words, obviously struggling to say something more. “But Elizabeth, I have to confess I have a selfish reason in bringing you here too... I needed your strength and encouragement to supply my lack of courage, as I did not dare to come here alone.” She turned her head, but a moment was enough for Elizabeth to notice the tears in her friend’s eyes and to begin to be deeply worried for her.
“Georgiana, what is the matter? Why are you upset?”
“Oh, it is nothing, I am so silly.... Please forgive me for disturbing you. I promised you a lovely day and I intend to keep my promise.” She forced a smile, wiping her eyes with he hands; Elizabeth offered her a handkerchief then took her hand.
“My dear, if there is something which disturbs you, please do trust me enough to confide in me, I would be happy to listen to you. I cannot imagine a more pleasant manner to spend this day than to talk to you about anything you want.”
“Thank you.... You are the kindest person I have ever met.”
“No, I am not,” laughed Elizabeth. Quite the contrary. I am only fortunate to have gained your good opinion, so you are very partial to me.”
Miss Darcy laughed, too, then looked around them for a few moments in silent contemplation. “My brother told me my parents used to take us here very often. I cannot remember that because I was only three years old when my mother passed away. However, when I was seven, William brought me here again and I recognized the place instantly as being well known and very dear to me.”
“This is lovely.”
“Yes... Since that day, we used to come here at least once a week, no matter the season. This place is equally sunny in the winter, spring or fall as it is in the summer.”
“I can imagine how wonderful it must be when it is snowing.”
“Yes, it is wonderful.” The girl smiled with delight, but then her countenance frowned again. “My father refused to join us...until the summer when he was very ill and demanded that William bring him here, though the doctors opposed it very decidedly. My brother did obey his request; he brought him here, and my father refused to be taken away for an entire day. He asked me to stay near him and embraced me closely... It was the only time my father held me so...and he spoke to me about my mother for hours.” She paused as the tears flowed over her cheeks, and Elizabeth wiped them gently away with her handkerchief. “A week later my father died...” She fought against her emotions with no success. Elizabeth moved closer and embraced her, caressing her hair.
“Please forgive me, Elizabeth,” whispered Georgiana after a few minutes, when she finally stopped crying.
“My dear, please do not apologize anymore. There is nothing to forgive.”
“Yes there is! There are many things I have to apologize about. If you knew how silly I have been and how badly I betrayed my brother’s confidence, you would most likely not be so kind to me. It was my behavior which forced William not to come to this place again last year...and he would most likely not come now either, if not for you.”
Elizabeth blushed again while she tried to smile and caressed her friend’s hand. “Oh, I think you are too harsh on yourself and give me much more credit than I deserve.”
“No, I am not... I know what I am talking about... I almost ruined myself and my family name last year with my inconsiderate behavior. I have grieved and disappointed my brother. I do not deserve his forgiveness.” Elizabeth’s worry turned into distress as she could easily guess the reason for the girl’s disturbance and desperately wondered how to react. Should she confess she knew about that event? Would that mean a betrayal of Mr. Darcy’s confidence in her?
“Georgiana, from what I have witnessed so far every time I was in your company, I am convinced beyond any doubt that your brother has nothing but the deepest affection and the strongest love for you.”
“Yes, because he is the kindest and the best brother anyone can hope for. But if you would have seen him last summer, his pain, his sadness... It breaks my heart when I remember... I have suffered so much more for him than for myself... Then we were separated for a few months and he started writing to me several times a week, as he did when I was at school. I was so happy! When we meet again last December, I could easily see he was not yet well -- he always looked preoccupied, always deeply distracted in his thoughts, he spent most of the time at home... However, he seemed to enjoy my company. We used to talk and walk through the park; sometimes we would read together. I played on the pianoforte for him every evening…but then....”
Elizabeth struggled to find a way of stopping the confession, as obviously the grief was too much for Georgiana to handle. However, before Elizabeth could say a word, the girl resumed her tale. “Than I remained alone to spend Easter with my relatives -- the Matlocks -- and my brother left for Rosings, as is his habit every year... When he returned....oh, Elizabeth, if you could have seen him then!” The tears that threatened were freely flowing down Georgiana’s face and were now filling Elizabeth’s eyes too, while she fought in vain to comfort her friend and hide her own torment.
“For a whole week he barely talked to anybody. I did not dare confront him, but I begged him a thousand times to tell me how I could help him. But of course I could not possibly help him in any way, as clearly his pain was caused by my behavior.”
“This cannot be, Georgiana! You said you were not even with Mr. Darcy during that time!”
She looked daringly into Elizabeth’s eyes while she burst out with all her courage. “Yes, but the consequences of my actions remained! I was very close to eloping with a man who cared nothing of me and wanted only to take advantage of my silliness and of course my dowry to take revenge against William. Most likely something must have reminded him of that event while he was in Kent, which threw him into that state. If you knew, Elizabeth...he barely left his room; and, when he did, he secluded himself in the library; he never joined me for either breakfast or dinner... In fact I think he barely ate anything; he only drank his favorite wine and demanded silence and solitude.”
Elizabeth gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, and Georgiana startled then added in great hurry, “Oh, please do not presume William became so drunken...as to lose his mind. He is not that kind of man! But he was drinking excessively, and never ate anything...and he hardly ever slept! I could hear him walking through the house in the middle of the night and could not allow myself to sleep either, knowing it was I who brought him such unbearable grief. I knew not what to do... I asked my cousin, the Colonel’s help; but, for some reason, William refused to talk to him either. So I wrote to Cassandra... She was my last hope.”
Georgiana paused again and breathed deeply a few times without even looking at Elizabeth. She kept her eyes fixed on a tree in front of them and continued her tale. “Cassandra was in Paris at that time and returned immediately. She arrived in the middle of the night; we talked for more than an hour. I remember crying all this time...then she suddenly left me and burst directly into William’s room. I followed her to his study but did not dare to go further. I could hear their voices ... They talked calmly at first...then they fought... I could hear Cassandra yelling at him, then William’s angry voice.... They argued for such a long time...then everything was quiet and I could barely hear them speaking. It was almost dawn when Cassandra came out and she looked so distressed, so sad.... And it was my fault again, because I had summoned her here... But she said I did the best thing in writing her... She was so kind, so loving to me... She remained with us for that night and for the following week... The next day William slept until nearly dinnertime, can you imagine? Cassandra sent a tray with food to his room but he did not eat much. So she sent the tray back to him and threatened him that she would have the servants tie him up and she would force feed him with her hands.” Georgiana started to laugh, a nervous, liberating laugh, but Elizabeth had no strength to even pretend to join her amusement.
“Can you imagine, Elizabeth? William tied up and Cassandra feeding him? Oh, I can imagine it easily, and she would have done it, I assure you. William knew that too... All our servants are very fond of Cassandra, but nobody dares to contradict her; they would have obeyed her, I am sure of it. The next day she demanded William join us for dinner or else she again threatened to move the dinner table into his room where we would all eat there with him -- so he finally came down to join us.”
She laughed again, this time turning her eyes to Elizabeth and gasped seeing her white face.
“Oh, my dear Elizabeth, I am so sorry! Please forgive me, I have been so selfish to take advantage of your friendship and burden you so! I have certainly ruined your day completely...”
Elizabeth could bear it no longer. She gripped Georgiana’s hands tightly while looking straight at her. “Georgiana, please stop and allow me to speak now; I am afraid you will not be so willing to call me your friend after I will finish.”
The young girl frowned, staring inquiringly and incredulously at her. “Georgiana, all this time you have tormented and blamed yourself for no reason. I am afraid it was I who brought so much distress to Mr. Darcy, though I could never have imagined something would happen as you just described. I could not have imagined our dispute would affect him so much.”
“You? I do not understand, Elizabeth; how can that be? My brother always spoke so highly of you since the very beginning of your acquaintance. He never mentioned to me any disagreement between the two of you.”
Georgiana looked astonished as well as doubtful, being certain that Elizabeth was completely wrong in her statement. The latter smiled bitterly. “Oh, but there had been many disagreements between us; in fact, Mr. Darcy and I misunderstood each other completely for months. We came to realize that when we met again in Kent. Did your brother not mention to you that we met last April in Kent?”
“Yes, he did. He wrote me from Rosings and informed me you were visiting your cousin and his wife.”
“So it was. Then one day Mr. Darcy and I had a very grave quarrel; and, even though after all this time I am still convinced I had been correct in my decision at that time, I now deeply regret that, mostly because of my own faults and shortcomings, we both said things which never should have been said. Only just that very day did I come to understand how very wrong was my opinion of him and how very unfair I had been in my judgment. Even worse, I foolishly trusted another man’s word against your brother and believed all the lies he laid upon Mr. Darcy – which I had angrily thrown in Mr. Darcy’s face during our argument. What do you think of me now?”
Elizabeth could hardly speak further as a lump in her throat made her voice tremble; she felt Georgiana gently squeezing her hands and only then did she notice that her hands were trembling too. “Elizabeth, but I cannot understand. You said you were correct in your decision; what decision? And how did you come to quarrel so violently with my brother? Were you two alone?”
“Georgiana, please do not be upset with me, but I cannot offer you more details, at least not at the moment.”
“I see...” The girl’s tone was different and so was the glare she kept fixed upon Elizabeth. “But if your quarrel was the reason for my brother’s distress, how was it possible that he kept you in such high esteem? After he somehow regained his old spirit, he did mention your name while talking to me and to Cassandra and he never seemed upset with you; never did he speak one unkind word about you. When we met that day in the park I am certain he had been very pleased to see you; even more so, he always encouraged me to become your friend. He would have certainly not encouraged me to do that if he did not think highly of you. How can that be?”
“I really do not know, Georgiana. I confess I had been certain that if Mr. Darcy and I would ever meet again he would avoid me as his worst enemy. I would never have dared to presume he would be so kind and friendly with me especially after what transpired between us in Kent.”
“I see... “ Georgiana removed her hands from Elizabeth’s and remained silent for a long time. She rose from the blanket and started to pace along the grove, absently touching one tree or another. Elizabeth followed her with her eyes, suddenly feeling cold, very cold; she shivered and wrapped her arms around herself.
Finally, the girl returned to the blanket and sat down again. She scrutinized Elizabeth with great attention then asked in a tone which demanded straight answers. “Elizabeth, can you at least tell me who was the man you trusted against my brother?”
She hesitated only a moment. “Mr. Wickham.”
Georgiana immediately turned pale but did not seem surprised. “I suspected as much. My brother told me he was in Hertfordshire and I guessed it could not have been a coincidence; maligning William’s name seemed very much like Mr. Wickham He is also the man I told you about, but I am certain you already knew that.”
“I did.” How could she deny it? “Mr. Darcy trusted me with this revelation when we were in Kent.”
“Why did you not tell me? Why did you allow me to speak, and you to listen as if it were a secret just revealed?”
“Because I felt you needed to speak about it, that you needed to free yourself of this burden. Then, during your confession, I could not find the proper moment and the proper way of telling you that I already knew about that ‘event’.”
“I see...” she repeated, the stern expression of her face reminding Elizabeth very much of her brother. Miss Darcy seemed to have sadly aged several years in a few minutes. “Elizabeth, you said you cannot tell me much about your disagreement with my brother. Would you allow me to ask him for more details?”
“Yes,” she answered with no hesitation.
Georgiana looked pleased with the quickness of her approval and she sketched a smile. “Thank you for trusting me with this; I imagine it is a very delicate matter to you. My brother will likely not say much about it either, but I confess that, after everything you told me, I have strong suspicions about the nature of your quarrel. I also want to thank you for telling me the truth; you could have left me to believe that I was the cause of William’s distress all this time.”
“No, I could not. Telling you the truth was the only acceptable thing to do.”
“Thank you! May I ask you another question? I know it is highly improper and you may feel free not to answer. I would not mind.”
“Of course, please ask me, I would not mind either.”
“What is your opinion of my brother?”
This time the answer did not come instantly. Elizabeth needed a few moments until she felt comfortable enough to answer. “I think he is among the best men I have ever known.”
Miss Darcy smiled meaningfully; nothing of her attitude reminded Elizabeth of the shy girl she had known some weeks ago. “Well, this is what I can say about my brother. I was wondering if you could say something more.”
A deafening thunder startled them and made them both scream. Only then did they notice the dark clouds which had covered the sky and the wind which started to blow furiously.
Suddenly, a cold darkness with wild drops of rain fell all around them. Before they understood what was happening, they become all wet and could barely see anything around them. Georgiana was yelling something but another clap of thunder covered her voice. Running toward the house was not an option that moment. Instantly, Elizabeth grabbed the blanket and took Georgiana’s hand, forcing her to move under a bushy tree. They sat down with their backs against it, Elizabeth pulling the girl close to her, then covered them both as well as she could. They sat, closely embraced, trying to find a poor shelter under the soaked blanket, watching with horror as the rain more and more violently turned into hail. The sky was wrinkled by flashes while the sound of hail and thunder made Georgiana tremble as a little child; suddenly, she could not stop her tears.
“Elizabeth, what can we do?” she cried, her voice barely audible.
Elizabeth knew not what to answer; no matter how hard she tried, she became more and more frightened herself. Fortunately, the tree offered them some protection against the hail, but not for long: the branches started to fall, breaking around them and Elizabeth lifted her eyes, desperately trying to see something, to discover a new place or a new shelter – yet with no success.
She was certain her senses betrayed her a few moments later, when she noticed the silhouettes of two horses moving through the curtain of rain and Mr. Darcy’s voice calling them.
Yet, it was not hallucination as Georgiana heard too and started to yell at her brother. Less then a moment later, Mr. Darcy dismounted together with Lady Cassandra, moving to them. Both the lady and the gentleman were wearing long caps against the rain; without a word, he pulled another blanket from under his coat and covered them with it then embraced them both.
“We must leave immediately,” cried Lady Cassandra.
“We have to go on horses, around the lake,” added Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth gazed at him, not understanding his meaning. With little patience, Lady Cassandra grabbed Georgiana’s hand. “Georgie, pull your dress up and let us go, now!”
In shock, Elizabeth saw Georgiana obeying: she lifted her dress and mounted straight, as a man, with Lady Cassandra behind her, in the same manner. Only a moment later their horse disappeared from sight and she turned her eyes, frightened and mortified, to the gentleman. Surely he could not ask her to do the same. He suddenly turned his back to her and in a minute he unsaddled the horse, keeping only the bridle. Then he leaned toward Elizabeth and whispered to her ear so she could hear him.
“Now we can go too – we must hurry.” She looked at him, her eyes opened widely in comprehension, and tried to explain she could not possibly ride in this weather on an unsaddled horse.
“We must leave now,” he said, as another bolt of lightning and thunder turned the animal nervous and restless.
She remembered little of the next moments; she was only aware of being lifted and placed on the back of the horse and Darcy’s body close behind her; she felt she was sliding down without being able to stop her fall but his right hand embraced and supported her back while his left hand rested on her thighs around her waist, pulling her forcefully and protectively against him while grabbing the reins.
His hands were burning her though the thin, soaked fabric and she felt herself quivering. Lightning and thunder frightened the horse; he bucked then started to run widely; she cried and her hands entwined desperately around Darcy's waist, her legs pressed against his inner thighs. He somehow managed to calm the animal which continued to run steadily. The rain was whipping Elizabeth’s face but she was too scared and too overwhelmed by the novelty of her sensations to feel the coldness. Suddenly he removed her hands from him, opened his large gray coat and pulled Elizabeth closer as her hands found their own way back around his waist. Then he gathered the side of his coat together to protect her from rain as much as possible. Without thinking much, she allowed her head to lean and to rest on his chest. She sensed him breathing deeply then his hands tightened their grip around her, almost crushing her against himself.
Instantly the storm around them lost its significance and slowly vanished from her mind. Elizabeth was no longer frightened or cold; she felt safer and warmer then ever before.